9 years of teaching
and the lesson doesn't seem to get easier.

As tears rolled down my cheeks during those first years of teaching 

my dad would say, 

"Katie, the forest is burning.  You can't save every tree."

Gangsters, pregnant teens, violent children
I wanted to save them all
because that was my job.

I had to teach them
but how could I teach them
if I couldn't even keep them in school?


9 years later.
Countless kids who have grabbed my heart
and I still wanted to save them all.

We invest our time.
We invest our energy.
We invest our money.
We invest our tears.
We do it for all of them.

And for our toughest ones.
We invest more of our time.
We invest more of our energy.
We invest more of our money.
We invest more of our tears.
Because they need it more.



And then there comes a day we have to stop and say,
"You don't get to have more of my time that she does."
She deserves me too.
She deserves more of me because she works for it.
She deserves to feel loved and safe
and you don't get to take that from her.

So, with a lump in your throat you bid them farewell.
You say good-bye and good luck.
You tell them you hope they start making better choices.

And as you walk away,
those tears drip down your face
because you've seen the ending of this story before
and it wasn't happy
and after all that time you invested
it feels like it meant nothing
because you just couldn't save that one.