Warning:
I'm in a bad mood.  Do not read this blog if:
A.  You're trying to be inspired to get to the gym.
B.  You're trying to be inspired to eat great food.
C.  You're trying to be inspired*.

*I just misspelled inspired 3 times in a row.  Awesome. 

But, read this blog if:
A.  You're in a bad mood too.  Misery loves company.
B.  You can relate.
C.  You have some kind and positive words for me.

Ok, if you're still here...onward.

You know what I hate?  I hate sucking.  I HATE sucking*.  (I am yelling and pushing really hard on the keys when they're in all caps).
*I'm trying so hard to find a google image of something that depicts "I hate sucking." but...nothing appropriate is coming up.  Get your mind out of the gutter Google!

I don't HAVE to be the best at everything but I hate sucking.

Let me walk you through a little story I like to call.  W-T-F?

I go to Crossfit today and meet a new girl.  She just started.  I was excited for 2 reasons:
1.  I like new peeps and she looked nice.
2.  She was new so I knew I'd beat her.

Turns out, she just had a baby 6 weeks ago (and had a great body, b-t-dub (<----that's by the way).  Perfect, I'll DEFINITELY beat you.  


In September I will have been Crossfitting for a year.  That's a long time to stick to a workout routine.
Our WOD...you know it was a bad/super hard day when I totally remember the WOD when I get home.

18 minutes AMRAP (As many rounds as possible)
10 Wall Balls
15 Burpees...100 Day Burpee Challengers, I DEF got my burpees in today :)
10 Pull-ups
200 Meter Run

We pick up our Wall Balls...3...2...1...Go!
I'll just give you the short version of me working out today.  At 1 point our owner was standing near me clapping some sort of rhythm and I feel like he was saying this in his head, "Get. Your. Ass. Moving. Katie. They're. Just. Burpees.  This. Is. Ridiculous."  I sucked and then sucked some more and then sucked some more and Just Had a Baby Girl BEAT me!  W-T-F?!?!?!

I'm so damn annoyed right now, I cried on the way home and I want to quit*. We always get new people and they're always better than me.  I feel like I suck just as bad as when I started.  I need to go back to doing something I'm good at...sitting on my couch.
*I'm not actually going to quit because I already drank the Kool-Aid but I am mad.  

And...as if that wasn't bad enough, I have been to Sumits (Hot Yoga) 3 times and guess what...I suck there too!  A blog for another day but the instructor actually came up to me in the middle of class with a very empathetic look in her eyes and said with a head tilt, "Are you new?"

And...I've been doing at LEAST 1 workout a day all week and I've been eating great and I GAINED 2 lbs.

Recap:
1.  Sucking sucks
2.  I'm in an asstastic (asstastic, 1 word) mood


And there you have it.  Thank you for reading this inspiring, uplifting, empowering, crabby rant.

I'm going to see Magic Mike...because I'm almost as good at sitting in big chairs while drinking and watching sexay men as I am at sitting on my couch.


Tune in next time for a much happier blog :)

I found this...and I will try and focus on this...

Ok, remember this game...
I'll say it and if you're done it, you have to drink.  You're not drinking at 9 am?  Ok, take a sip of coffee then.

I promise to not get as vulgar as my friends and I used to whilst playing this one.

My friends make fun of me for all of the "normal" movies I haven't seen.  Normal things that I have never done.

I've never seen Mary Poppins.

Or Say Anything

I've never drank a yard of liquor.
I've never seen a show in Vegas.

I've never been to the Grand Canyon...
and I've lived in Arizona for 22 years of my life
What normal, American, things have you never done?!

I bring you The KatieSitting Blues for 3 reasons:
musician: Elizabeth Shue & Bo Diddly


Hi. ahem. Umm, My name's Katie Cartier.


I going to Eastlake, that's a suburb.
They probably figured that out. huh


This is Liliana and Philip 
And we're in trouble.
Ain't no doubt!


See Tom and Danielle, 
tonight's their anniversary.
But then they went and Vegas 
And now I'm here, just them and me.


And it's so hard...
And it's sooo hard...
Katiesittin' these guys.
She's got the......


There was this fall from Lily. 
I went to pick her up.
Dropped my coffee on the ground 
And all day couldn't get caught up.


And the Sippy Cups were so hard
And we left milk in the back
We were cruisin down the highway
And the Jetta had been Kid Attacked!


And it's so hard!
YEAH!
It's so hard...
Katiesittin' these guys.
She got the.....Katieeee sittin' blues.
Katie, Katie. Katiesittin' blues.
I've got the...Katieeee sitting blues.


Well alright!


There's nights....you swear you were born to lose. Not tonight.
And you wish your feet were walkin' in someone elses shoes.


The kids are really hungry.
At least that's what they said.
We ain't got a nickle.
And they should be in bed. 


And you outta luck.
Outtaaa luck, watchin' these guys.
I've got the....Katieeeee sitting blues.
Katie, Katie.
Katieeee sitting blues.
Katie, Katie.
Katieeee sitting bluuues.


There are nights....
You swear you were born to looose...yeah!
Like tonight.
And you wish your feet were walkin' in someone elses shoes.


The kids are really hungry at least that's what they said.


She ain't got a nickle...
AND WE SHOULD BE IN BED!!!
And you outta luck.
Outta luck watchin' these guys.
I've got the....Katieeeeee sitting blues.
Katie, Katie.
Katieeeee sitting blues.
Katie, Katie.
Katieeeeee sitting bluuues. 



And in the end I learned...
1.  It actually wasn't so hard.  They're great, happy and super well-behaved kids.

2.  Every Mom had the best kids.  I'm just the Aunt but I totally have the best kids.  Nobody else's could compare...I'm sure that's how all moms feel.

3.  The little moments are the best moments.  Focusing on those makes the tired seem to dissipate...a little.

4.  Kids cry.  Not all the time but they cry and that's Ok.

5.  Sippy cups are ridiculously hard to put together.  Why are they so hard?!

6.  Routines are ESSENTIAL!  I knew this from first-hand experience as a teacher but kids thrive on knowing what's coming next.

7.  Don't take a 19 month old kid to the movies.  Just don't.

During my 72 hour crash course in Mommyhood
We laughed and I learned oh so much...

I love being an aunt more than I have ever loved anything in the world
I have never experience love like I have for these 2 children
But I bet this parenting thing is probably totally worth it.

Some crazy, fit  peeps at my gym are doing the 100 Burpee Challenge right now.

Increase Burpees by 1 each day until you get to 100 days.

So...
Day 1-1 Burpee
Day 2-2 Burpees
Day 3-3 Burpees

Quiz time...
How many Burpees on Day 6?

That's right!
6

How many on Day 98?
NINTY FREAKING EIGHT.

If you're ever done A (I like to pronounce that as ah for emphasis...think Wayne's World..."I don't even own ah gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate a (you pronounce that one regular, eh---how the hell do you spell things phonetically anyway?!) gun rack."

Way off track...

Back to it. Back to it.

If you've ever done a Burpee, you know that 98 on one day is NO JOKE.
If you've never done a Burpee, see this post to remind yourself.

So?  Who's in?
You can break them up.
We can meet outside of Starbucks and Burpee together.
We can Burpee Skype.
You can do them in the comfort of your own home
You can do them by the pool
You can do them at the gym.
You can do them at your kid's swim lessons...If you do it there will you take a video of everyone's reaction and send it to me so I can post it please?  SO many options!

We can use these rules, from Crossfit Peachtree (Crossfit Peachtree?  Really? That's their name?)
This can be our new motto!  Ah, the power of positive thinking!

If When we finish it we can get shirts like this made OR my gym owner can get them made and you can buy one from him (hint, hint).


PS.  This is TOTALLY not just for CFers.  For all of you.  Yogers.  Zumbaers.  Runners.  Weight Lifters.  Couch Sitters.  Everyone is invited!

Wow, my body definitely is telling me what it needs!

I got back from a trip to Tucson vowing that I would get back on Paleo track and I have.

I feel like my body is saying,
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!

Super excited to try these fun summer foods!


Also, for those who have been agonizing over my having to give up avocados, I am happy to report...I tried eating them again.  I'm a really slow learner and even when I'm given an answer I keep making the same mistakes over and over and over...but in this case it actually worked out in my favor...no so much the case with me dating "bad boys." <----Seriously, Katie, get a life.

Anyway, you can all exhale, I can eat them again.  At least for today I can and it was AMAZEBALLS!  Best avocado of my life.  Thank you Costco and thank you to myself for my phenomenal avacado slicing skills.  It really is an art.  I excel at three things and cutting avocados is one of them.

Ok, I'll share my secret.  You cut it WHILE it's in the skin and then very carefully scoop it out while keeping all slices in tact.  What?  You learned that when you were five?


Pineapple Popsicles
Pineapple, coconut milk and vanilla extract!  So easy and yum!

Chipotle Mango Salad 
(Just sub the creamy dressing for some salsa to avoid the stomach ache)


Frozen Fruit Ice Cubes!
I'm positive I won't make these, ever, but for someone who is craftier than I...great idea!

Dear Red Box,
I think you're a stupid idea.  Because of your "Just $1 a day" policy, I have just been charge $32 for the same freaking 2 movies.  One may say it's my fault for being so irresponsible as to not return movies for so long, but I blame you.


Dear Tom and Danielle,
Are you sure you want to trust me with your children for 3 nights?  See above for my responsibility level.  I will do my personal best to remember to feed your children, keep clothes on them and remember to retrieve them from school...but I make so promises. 


Dear Jetta,
I GET IT!  YOU NEED SERVICE!  You can turn off the little wrench blinky thing now.  




Dear Crossfitters Who Started Way After Me and Always Beat Me,
Stop it.  You're making me look bad.




Dear Newly Manicured Hands and Feet,
I love you!


Dear Banfield Vet,
No, I don't want you to biopsy the bump on my dog's leg for over $100.  Why don't you go ahead and use your vet skills to tell me that it's probably a wart or nothing to worry about?




Dear Best Friend,
Hmm, I'm not sure what to say about this gift that just came in the mail for me:

Thanks for stopping by! Welcome. Check it out. Read around!

Why is it that all throughout the week I see/do/hear things that I think, "Oh-em-gee. LOVE." and now when it's time to put it down I can't think of anything.

Perhaps I should change this to What I Find Mediocre Wednesday. No?

Here are the biggest things I love this week.

Raw Excitement
Philip and Lily's parents surprised them with a trip to Disneyland yesterday.  Oh if I could bottle the excitement in this picture I believe I could stop wars.



Pure Joy
If you're ever in a horrible mood, head to the nearest Splash Pad, grab a cup of coffee and watch those little ones dance in water.  Squeals of excitement, kids making new friends, small crises promptly fixed by mom's hugs.  Your mood will quickly turn around.



Brother/Sister Teams
First best friend, biggest ally of your life.  You share everything, from DNA to chicken nuggets.   I love a good brother/sister team.


Front and Center Parents
There. Focused. Really, really there.

I went to a conference this weekend.  I laughed.  I learned.  I wrote important things on paper...well, mostly I doodled on my paper.  You laugh but that is how I keep engaged.  You can bet that if I'm looking at the speaker I'm tuned out but if I'm doodling, I'm taking it all in!

As I was tracing over one of my designs the speaker said, "Nothing is impossible."

I have always had all these ideas in my head.  I want, I want, I want but there's this little a-hole in my head that says, "You can't.  You won't.  You're not capable."

But you know what?  I AM.

So, my new trajectory...
1.  Be the Title One Facilitator
2.  Be an Assistant Principal
3.  Be a Principal

**While doing all of those things:
CO-WRITE A BOOK!
Oh yes, I said it.  We're doing it.  My partner in crime, the person who knows more about teaching than I ever will, and I are writing a book.

And then...we're going to get it published.

And then...we're going to become educational consultants.


As all of those speakers at the conference were speaking I thought, I could totally do that.

I mean I'm not funny enough to be a comedian but I can certainly stand in front of an audience and make them listen.  And even if it goes poorly I'm bound to trip and fall up there at some point at which point I can always be the star in these future water cooler conversations, "Remember that speaker who fell?"

Is there a voice telling you that you can't?


Kick that voices arse.  And when it comes back...kick it again.

If you tell people your dreams and they half-heartedly smile with a sarcastic grin, kick their arse too.  No, don't do that.  I don't advocate for violence.  But...you could step on their toe.  Call it an accident but you and I will know that you're showing that voice whose boss.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

HOLY SH** THAT WAS HARD.

H-A-R-D.

It was 90 degrees when I got out of my car at the Thompson Peak trailhead.


I knew it was going to be a tough day.  I knew Crossfit 480 wouldn't just move the WOD out of the box and to a hiking trail without a seriously tough agenda.

I thought of a million reasons not to go but I had committed myself to at least 3 days a week every week this summer and couldn't quit now.

BUT...I was still so scared.  As in, flashbacks of when I first started CF480, scared.  Being inside of CF480 gives me magical powers and allows me to do things I wouldn't normally be able to do, Super Katie, if you will.  So, how were things going to be when I had to workout outside of there??


I was one of the first ones there and the guys said, "Oh, we just finished it.  It wasn't that bad."
IMH: Are you effing kidding me?  One of you is a Lulu Ambassador and just got back from Regionals and the other one eats Paleo like it's his job.  So, no, that doesn't make me feel any better at all.  Thank you.


Sidenote:  It's BEAUTIFUL there and SO nice.  I love nice places that are a little fancy with nice bathrooms.  All of the above were there.


WOD-Partner
Train Run (I like how they wrote just that and didn't mention that it was at least a mile)
----------------------------------
30 KBHP (Kettle Bell High Pulls).  *While your partner is doing this, my original thought was that I would get to rest.  No, we had to Plank...the whole time.  I call false advertising Gentlemen.
Partner #2 executes
----------------------------------
20 KB
Partner #2 executes
----------------------------------
30 KBHP
Partner #2 executes
----------------------------------
20 KB
Partner #2 executes
----------------------------------
20 Goblet Squats
Partner #2 executes
----------------------------------
Trail Run (The same one...that's almost a mile...and they didn't mention the distance...again)
----------------------------------

Let me re-cap-We RAN almost 2 miles, lifted something metal and heavy a LOT of times and did the equivalent of a million sit-ups.  Rad.


Negatives: 
1.  I almost died.
2.  I was the reason we were last--dead last...and that's embarrassing to me.
3.  My legs felt like they weren't getting any oxygen at all, really weak, like Jello--if anyone with a medical degree (or anyone who reads a lot of WedMd) can tell me more about this I'd be happy.
4.  I saw the camera out and I really dislike not having the option to give my approval on pictures for the website, cause all of them that have me in them come out lame. **Boys, think like a good girlfriend would before posting pictures.  If my friend looks stupid I won't post.  It's the code.



Positives:
1.  I had a great partner.  Thanks for the encouragement!!
2.  I did not die.  --always a plus
3.  I didn't sprain my ankle.
4.  I busted my ass for over 30 minutes...GO KC!

PS.  A friend told me that maybe I should start taking Barre Class the other day and I thought for a second about doing less days at CF and it almost gave me an anxiety attack.

Are you thinking this about me?  Yeah.  You know it.

Things you will think when you read this blog...if my writing is as I intend for it to be (which is sometimes up for debate):
Your Thought: Your friend, Josh, is in an asshole.
Fact: Sometimes he is, in fact, an asshole...but for the most part he's my best buddy, so don't hate too much (you can hate a little).

Your Thought: This is kind-of your fault Katie.  You should have known better.
Fact: Noted.

Your Thought: Are you exaggerating?
Fact: Not even a little bit.  I'm being sassy but not lying.  Swear.


So, it's my birthday weekend.  I had just finished Pat's Run and was feelin' pretty great.  Josh took me to Two Hippies for breakfast-quaint lil joint that serves some fab food.

We're doing what we usually do, solving the world's problems making fun of people and enjoying our eggs.   I told him how excited I was that I got a giftcard for a new swimsuit and that I was going to head to the mall after we ate to pick out my new swimsuit.

"Oh my gosh!  I have to go to that same mall to pick up my glasses!  Should I help you pick out your swimsuit?"
IMH: Hmmm, normally that would be a resounding, no but...it's Josh. "Sure!"

We go.  Pay attention, Gentlemen...
I bring you...