I've been dating someone. I know! It's been a couple of months. I know! How exciting, right? The beginning...those looks...first kisses...that getting to know one another. So cute. Such good stuff. I know!
But before you start playing "Katie's Fight Song," and send the cheerleaders and trombones...I think it's done.
Awe. Sad face. (I know I haven't written in a while but remember that italic is your voice)
It was good for a bit.
I'm pretty attracted to him.
He has my same dry, sarcastic sense of humor.
He's smart.
He knows how to work on cars.
He has a house that doesn't look like a bachelor pad.
He has kids, which I'm cool with but...
HE. IS. SO. BORING.
I am really debating on whether I should be posting this because what if he finds out?! We won't tell him. Please continue so I can continue cringing on my couch while reading about your life.
At first I thought he was just a boring texter...Here are two examples of our conversations. That's every single conversation for the past 3 months, not kidding.
So, ok, not everybody can be as freakin' hilarious as I am when texting. Katie, you're not hilarious and those aren't THAT boring.
Just trust me. Tiffany read through all of them and said she almost fell asleep.
So, we keep hanging out. Ya know what, he's pretty damn boring in person too. He never asks about me. He only talks about him...in a boring way...with no inflection in his voice. I feel like I'm more passionate about my morning breakfast than he is about his own kids.
Katie, maybe he's just not that in to you. Yeah, you could be right but I think he IS kinda in to me, as least as in to me as I am to him.
You know when he's not boring? When we're making out but that's honestly not the most exciting thing ever.
Today we talked on the phone for the first time. Yes, our "relationship" is so 21st Century-text or hang out, nothing else. So, he was on a long drive and I told him we could take our relationship to the next level and talk on the phone. You said that? You're so embarrassing.
I didn't say exactly that but he did call.
We were on the phone for 13 minutes. 13 lllllllloooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggg minutes.
Conversation:
Me: Hi, how's your drive!
Him: Long
Me: Oh, well how was your weekend?
Him: Fine. On Saturday I went to the hospital because my friend cut dropped a table on his foot. (please read this with the most monotone voice possible)
Me: Oh my gosh! That's terrible! That was really nice of you to be there for him. Was it broken or just stiches or what? (please read this with the most non monotone voice possible).
Him: Stiches.
(Silence)
Me: So, my weekend was good (because you didn't ask).
(I continue to tell him about my weekend and I don't even remember the rest of our conversation because it was super lame)
13 minutes. 13 long minutes later, we said good-bye.
And that, my friends, was the straw. Consider that back broken. Peace out Mr. Boring. I just can't handle it.
On to the next...I have a real live blind date-as in, I haven't even see a picture of him, that a friend is setting me up on tomorrow.
Ok, I'm ready. I'm ready for you to talk your !@#$ about how I need to give him more time (really? more than 3ish months?!), how I'm too picky (and I SHOULD really date people who put me to sleep). Go ahead, I can handle it. OR you could just be Team Katie because you're MY friends and your ALWAYS supposed to be on my team ;)
PS. If you totally wanna set me up with "the perfect guy for me" but are afraid that I'll write about him, I'll go ahead and sign the "Non Disclosure Agreement" ;)
But before you start playing "Katie's Fight Song," and send the cheerleaders and trombones...I think it's done.
Awe. Sad face. (I know I haven't written in a while but remember that italic is your voice)
It was good for a bit.
I'm pretty attracted to him.
He has my same dry, sarcastic sense of humor.
He's smart.
He knows how to work on cars.
He has a house that doesn't look like a bachelor pad.
He has kids, which I'm cool with but...
HE. IS. SO. BORING.
I am really debating on whether I should be posting this because what if he finds out?! We won't tell him. Please continue so I can continue cringing on my couch while reading about your life.
At first I thought he was just a boring texter...Here are two examples of our conversations. That's every single conversation for the past 3 months, not kidding.
Sidenote: At least 5 of my friends are wanting to comment on the fact that my phone is almost dead because it's always almost dead. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Sidenote: I am really proud of my photoshopping skills. Do you see how I removed his name? I'm practically ready for my own studio.
So, ok, not everybody can be as freakin' hilarious as I am when texting. Katie, you're not hilarious and those aren't THAT boring.
Just trust me. Tiffany read through all of them and said she almost fell asleep.
So, we keep hanging out. Ya know what, he's pretty damn boring in person too. He never asks about me. He only talks about him...in a boring way...with no inflection in his voice. I feel like I'm more passionate about my morning breakfast than he is about his own kids.
Katie, maybe he's just not that in to you. Yeah, you could be right but I think he IS kinda in to me, as least as in to me as I am to him.
You know when he's not boring? When we're making out but that's honestly not the most exciting thing ever.
Today we talked on the phone for the first time. Yes, our "relationship" is so 21st Century-text or hang out, nothing else. So, he was on a long drive and I told him we could take our relationship to the next level and talk on the phone. You said that? You're so embarrassing.
I didn't say exactly that but he did call.
We were on the phone for 13 minutes. 13 lllllllloooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggg minutes.
Conversation:
Me: Hi, how's your drive!
Him: Long
Me: Oh, well how was your weekend?
Him: Fine. On Saturday I went to the hospital because my friend cut dropped a table on his foot. (please read this with the most monotone voice possible)
Me: Oh my gosh! That's terrible! That was really nice of you to be there for him. Was it broken or just stiches or what? (please read this with the most non monotone voice possible).
Him: Stiches.
(Silence)
Me: So, my weekend was good (because you didn't ask).
(I continue to tell him about my weekend and I don't even remember the rest of our conversation because it was super lame)
13 minutes. 13 long minutes later, we said good-bye.
And that, my friends, was the straw. Consider that back broken. Peace out Mr. Boring. I just can't handle it.
On to the next...I have a real live blind date-as in, I haven't even see a picture of him, that a friend is setting me up on tomorrow.
Ok, I'm ready. I'm ready for you to talk your !@#$ about how I need to give him more time (really? more than 3ish months?!), how I'm too picky (and I SHOULD really date people who put me to sleep). Go ahead, I can handle it. OR you could just be Team Katie because you're MY friends and your ALWAYS supposed to be on my team ;)
PS. If you totally wanna set me up with "the perfect guy for me" but are afraid that I'll write about him, I'll go ahead and sign the "Non Disclosure Agreement" ;)
