Ya know how I'm not currently dating anyone?  My close friends are laughing that the joke that lies inside of that statement.  Well, if you weren't sure, I'm not.

My dad, because he loves me so much wants what everyone in "my world" wants for me which is to get married, have babies, have a big house and become the hostess with the mostesss.  The poor man tip toes around the question (as everyone in my life does), "Are you dating anyone?"  

Most dads are the iron fist when it comes to their daughter's dating, and mine was as well when I was younger.  

I distinctly remember him answering a door to a date I had and him yelling, yes yelling, FROM the door where this poor guy stood, "There's some shrimp at the door to see Katie."  And another poor soul of a boyfriend, after a "ride" in the truck with my father,  who walked in with eyes as wide as saucers and said, "We're NEVER ever sleeping together."  

However, nowadays I feel like he's all but handing men money to knock me up.  

In fact, he just PAID for my EHarmony.  Oh that happened.  I'm so sad that I'm not kidding about this.  

(Why do I share these things?!  Nine times out of ten I'm so embarrassed even typing them and, yet, I push "Publish" every time.)

Conversation with Dad, 

Dad: Are you dating anyone?

Me: No, I made an eHarmony but I haven't paid for it yet.

Dad: I'll pay.

Me: Dad, it's not a big deal.  I can pay.

Dad:  No, I wanna pay.  

Me.  No because if you pay, I'll feel like I have to use it. 

Dad:  That's right.  I'm not just throwing money at the !@#$ing wall...and I'll need monthly reports of how many dates you go on.  

Today I got a check for $30 from my father.  The introductory rate of $30 for 3 months of eHarmony.  

So, that's my life.  

Thanks Dad.  

At least I know that I can make my friends laugh...or cringe right along side of me.