For my birthday this year, I asked my brother and his family to be guest bloggers.  I assumed that they would write one short blog but they went way above and beyond.  Each person in the family wrote a blog.

First up is Philip.  My favorite line is "I have known my Aunt Katie my whole life."  So funny.  This kid will always have my heart.  I love you bigger than the sky my sweet, sweet nephew.   Thank you for one of my four favorite birthday presents ever.

Enjoy...

To the dress?  
You're so predictable Blog Voices.  So predictable.
No, not to the dress.  In fact, I said no to the man who proposed to me.
Ummm, what? 
That's not what this blog is about.
Well, that's what we want to read about.
Anyway...


I said yes to my life, metaphorically speaking.


The other day I missed a call from my cousin while I was at work so I text her and got this back.

My initial thought: What?  This is the most incredible opportunity, but I can't go to the Caribbean in two weeks.

That's so soon.
I have to work.
I'll never be able to take a full week off work.
That would be insane.
Who would watch Scout?
There is no way.

This is totally a motto I live by (well, until I met Erica.  She always puts me to shame.  So does Dawn, but generally speaking, I work my ass off)

And then I started thinking...Katie, SAY YES.  How many times in your life are you offered an almost free trip to the Caribbean?  These are those opportunities that you DON'T pass up for work.

I love my job...more than most people I know.  It's way more than a job to me.  The people I work with are like family to me.  The work we do is critical to the lives of children and still...it's a job.  Remember when I wrote Don't Skip Dinner?  Well this is me...not skipping dinner.

I had to write a letter to the board.
My boss had to give me an official "Verbal Warning."
So far I've had to figure out a new plan for fifty things that are happening that week at work.
My pay will be docked for 3 of the 6 days I'm off.

But this is me...not skipping dinner and saying yes.  I leave for Grenada the day after my birthday.   Hashtag: Happy Birthday to me!



I'm packing a suitcase full of swimsuits, books, flip-flops...and not a single pair of heels.  I'm going to leave work behind and spend a week on Casa, ASS' (Aunt Super Suzanne...but you can call her ASS too, everyone does) catamaran.   We will fill our days with snorkling, swimming, picking fresh fruit from the trees and basking in the sun.  I said yes (and a big fat thank you to all parties concerned).
Say yes to your life.  Work will be there in the morning.


We like your blog but where did we land on that proposal story? 

I am a judgemental !@#$%.  Everyone who knows me would say that.  No !@#$ Katie.  I don't know if it's an inherent quality, something I grew into or something I have done most when I have been the least secure.

In related news, I also believe that God is constantly trying to teach us lessons.  God, The Universe, our guardians angels...someone or something is always teaching us.  I don't know that things just happen by chance.  Also, I often want to punch God in the face for constantly trying to teach me !@#$.  Hashtag: YOU know why God.

Some things in life have always seemed so simple.

Don't let a man hit you.  Not really sure why any woman would allow that.

Don't be with an alcoholic.  Only stupid people do that.


Cut. And. Dry.

I read a book called, It Ends with Us, that has forever changed my view of women who stay with men who emotionally or physically abuse them.  Because the first time is just a fluke and the next time "I provoked him" and the next time...and they all seem valid.

And, most recently, I dated a guy who is an alcoholic...and I found myself doing the same thing.  The first time was "because it's the weekend and everyone parties on the weekend."  Tons of people get DUIs.  Then it was, "almost everyone imbibes more than you do Katie." Next time it was because it was a casino and everyone drinks at a casino.  Next time was because it was 7:30 am and lots of people cure hangovers with more liquor.

And, for a very short time, I envisioned life with this man...five years down the road.  My judgy eyes began to blur and I saw why...

Why people stay in abusive relationships.
Why people do everything in their power to help and fix and make it work with substance abusers.

And rather than getting angry I realized, possibly for the first time, that rather than God trying to teach me patience, perhaps, he was trying to teach me to be less critical and more open?

Because that alcoholic?  He's a GREAT guy and we connected hard, almost instantly.  And he's funny and way smarter than me and he just has that one, tiny flaw.  85% good, 15% shit...as we all are.  That being said, I do have some limits and although I may move my line a bit, there are some things I just can't live with...but I can be sympathetic to them.

And so I say...for today God, I don't want to punch you in the face.  Thanks for the lessons.  May I continue my journey towards open minded thinking and a persona that puts everyone at ease.

Have you heard of a Vision Board?  You cut out pictures and words and display it.

In true Katie Cartier fashion, I half-way did that.   Wait, that's not true Katie Cartier.  You go all in with everything.  Let me clarify.  I went 150% with it and then quit.  Ohhh, yes, THAT is true Katie Cartier.  Sidenote: This is how Tom described me.  Katie, you don't go half way with anything.  It's not Crossfit.  It's CROSSFIT!  KOMBUCHA!  COLD BREW COFFEE!  Yeah, you right.

So, VISION BOARD! but I had to make mine much more SMART Goal oriented.

Here was my process...

- Decide my goals for the year...CHECK
- Type them up and put cute little icons with them...CHECK
- Print them out
- Put them on the perfect Vision Board that Kelli bought for me

I had a little trouble when I got to the printing them out part.  They are still safely on my computer...half way Katie.

Let's go over what I have actually done on the board.  Just a heads up, the whole thing is pretty doom and gloom but I am excelling in one area.  Wait for it...
 Haven't done anything.  I've barely even walked my dog.  !@#$.

That's all I'm asking...

ONE. DAY. OF. SHIT.

Can we please get ONE day where everyone on Facebook just posts the shit in their lives?  I'm SO tired of looking at this glossy, filtered posts.

I got a new job!
We took a great vacation!
My kids are so cute!
Here are some amazing words of wisdom that spoke to me!
Watch how well I can craft sentences and make them sound beautiful!
I'm skinny!
My face doesn't have any wrinkles!

No, that's not what your posts actually say but we can all read between the lines.

Let's get real for God sakes!


Now, before you pinch me with those fake posting fingers, you have to know I'm totally talking to myself too!  I'm a card carrying member of the "humble brag" at times and you know if I call you out, I'll call me out too.

Let me translate my last few posts into what was really happening or what I was really saying...







Yep, I do it too but since we're gettin' real in this post, lemme tell you, I kinda wanted to go through my feed and grab a ton of other people's posts, throw them up here and blast 'em.   You're such a b!@#$ Kathryn and that last sentences was a total run on.  #growupkatie.  Yeah, you right.

But, for real...Can we puh-lease, for one day, post what's actually happening because the "try and make things look perfect" kinda makes me wanna hurl.  Guess what?  Your life isn't fucking perfect and none are the rest of ours are either!

Did you lose your !@#$ at work?  Tell us!
Did you raise your hand to actually punch your kid before, quickly, realizing you could go to jail for that? Tell us!
Have you watched Netflix for 16 hours straight and began melting into your couch?  Tell us!
Posting a picture of your workout?  Do it, and then tell us how it's the first time you've moved your ass since May!
Are you the world's worst homemaker and eat out more than you cook for your family?  Tell us!
Haven't bathed your children in days?  They smell like a mixture of dirt and syrup?  Tell us!
Have you fantasized about pulling a Loraina Bobbit on your husband?  Tell us!

I'm not saying we should all vent all over and play whoa was me to the general public, but can we please mix it up a bit and when you do brag, just go ahead and throw a little: #humblebrag up there.

LET'S. GET. REAL.  Still be funny...but real.

Thoughts?

PS.  In case you kinda liked this post but would like to read a much nicer and less cussy version of it, I wrote Greener Grass years ago and it pretty much says the same thing in MUCH more flowery words.