I am a judgemental !@#$%.  Everyone who knows me would say that.  No !@#$ Katie.  I don't know if it's an inherent quality, something I grew into or something I have done most when I have been the least secure.

In related news, I also believe that God is constantly trying to teach us lessons.  God, The Universe, our guardians angels...someone or something is always teaching us.  I don't know that things just happen by chance.  Also, I often want to punch God in the face for constantly trying to teach me !@#$.  Hashtag: YOU know why God.

Some things in life have always seemed so simple.

Don't let a man hit you.  Not really sure why any woman would allow that.

Don't be with an alcoholic.  Only stupid people do that.

Cut. And. Dry.

I read a book called, It Ends with Us, that has forever changed my view of women who stay with men who emotionally or physically abuse them.  Because the first time is just a fluke and the next time "I provoked him" and the next time...and they all seem valid.

And, most recently, I dated a guy who is an alcoholic...and I found myself doing the same thing.  The first time was "because it's the weekend and everyone parties on the weekend."  Tons of people get DUIs.  Then it was, "almost everyone imbibes more than you do Katie." Next time it was because it was a casino and everyone drinks at a casino.  Next time was because it was 7:30 am and lots of people cure hangovers with more liquor.

And, for a very short time, I envisioned life with this man...five years down the road.  My judgy eyes began to blur and I saw why...

Why people stay in abusive relationships.
Why people do everything in their power to help and fix and make it work with substance abusers.

And rather than getting angry I realized, possibly for the first time, that rather than God trying to teach me patience, perhaps, he was trying to teach me to be less critical and more open?

Because that alcoholic?  He's a GREAT guy and we connected hard, almost instantly.  And he's funny and way smarter than me and he just has that one, tiny flaw.  85% good, 15% shit...as we all are.  That being said, I do have some limits and although I may move my line a bit, there are some things I just can't live with...but I can be sympathetic to them.

And so I say...for today God, I don't want to punch you in the face.  Thanks for the lessons.  May I continue my journey towards open minded thinking and a persona that puts everyone at ease.