Rule #1-Love Them 

People used to ask me "what I taught."  Sometimes I said Math.  Sometimes I said Reading.  Sometimes I said Science.  I like teaching Math...and Reading...and Science.  I like teaching subject matter but I L-O-V-E teaching kids.  I actually don't give a !@#$ what subject I teach.  I can figure out whatever I need to know about the material I need to teach but what I REALLY need to figure out, first and foremost, is how to the actual students I teach.



One year, one of my mentees (a first year teacher) said, "Kids always listen to you.  How do you get them to always listen to you?"  I replied, in jest with, "Because I'm the meanest teacher in the school.  They have no choice."  This is actually true.  I was, more than possibly, the strictest teacher at my school. However, if that were it, they wouldn't have listened.

They listened because they knew that I would lie down in traffic for them.  I told them how much I loved them every single day and then I expected them to do more that they ever thought they could.  And, in turn, they did whatever I wanted them to do.


Do you have any idea what happened between the time your students leave your classroom doors to the time they arrive back there again?  I hope you do.  You NEED to know.
Do you know that the last thing some of your kids ate were the carrots sticks you gave them for snack?
Do you know there was a drive by in 1 of the apartment complexes?
Do you know that many of your kids sleep on the floor instead of a bed?

Do you REALLY think your student's give two !@#$'s about the Civil War you're trying to teach?  Or how to divide fractions?

I can't stand it when teachers say, "THESE kids just don't care."
No, they don't care.  They don't care about you.  They don't care about the material you're teaching.  They don't care.

You know what they do care about?
They care about dinner.
They care about how they are going to get their sister home in 1 piece.
They care about the people who care about them.

THAT is their reality.

"But, I don't have time to figure out things like that about my kids."
"I have too much to teach."
"I don't have time."  
"My principal won't let me do that."

Shame on you!  Shame on you for not finding a way...and let me tell you a little secret I know about principals, and I know a lot of principals--they will let you do almost anything you want IF you show them results.  Results = test scores.

Well, how do I do both?  I'll tell you later.

Take a look back at Maslow's Triangle.


You want your kids to achieve?  Love them enough to help them sort through their !@#$ first.  They PHYSICALLY CAN NOT learn when their basic needs of food, shelter and safety are not being met.

You need to get to know your kids, and what makes them tick, SO WELL that you can see in their eyes the SECOND they disengage.


There are a thousand things I was not, as a teacher.  I was not patient.  I was not always as creative as I should have been.  I was super strict.  There are so many memories I have that I think, "Damn, should have done that differently" but 1 thing I KNOW I got right... I LOVED ME SOME KIDS and I really wanted to know them.

I love to hear their conversations.
I wanna know what they think about, talk about, wonder about, want to be when they grow up.
I wanna know about their lives outside of school.
I want to know them.

You have no idea the impact your words, looks, and hugs have.  Someday some random kid, one you may not even remember, will e-mail you and tell you what a difference you made in their lives.

The best teachers I've ever seen in my life didn't always teach the best lessons but they loved the !@#$ out of their kids.  Do you remember every lesson you learned in 6th grade? Absolutely not.  Do you remember whether your teacher liked you?


I met and observed one of the best teachers I have ever seen in my life last year.  Her lessons were pretty good.  She made them fun and engaging.  They weren't perfect.  There were always things she could have done better.  She didn't have a magic wand but she was IN LOVE with all 32 of her students...and they knew it.  And, in turn, they would have jumped onto the ceiling if she told them she wanted them to do it.

Her test scores?  The BEST in the district.  I kid you not.  Why?  Because there is a DIRECT correlation between getting to know kids, loving them and high test scores.


Learn about them.  Listen to them. Love them first.