My fingers were close. They moved along the smooth and cold surface of the glass. They gently touched the Contacts. They pulled up his name, appropriately changed to Asshole in my phone, and I abruptly stopped myself.

IMH: What's the rule Katie? The rule is, you phone a friend first. You MUST call a friend when you are this close to sending a text you'll regret.

Ok, I'll call my best friend. She better pick up.

(The following conversation actually happened and has not be enhanced in any way)

"I need a He's Just Not that Into You pep talk," I stated needfully.

"About who?"

"Ummm," I paused because I didn't want to tell her who because I knew it would come with a lecture. "Asshole."

"What?! Katie, NO!"

"Are you sure? I really wanna talk to him?"

"HE'S JUST NOT THAT IN TO YOU and he's a schmuck." (I meant to make fun of her for using the word schmuck but what happened next happened so fast that I totally forgot).

"I knooooowwww, but I just wanna hang out," I said in a pathetic voice.

"Yeah? Well, while you're at his why don't you call up old what's-his-name you haven't talked to in 4 years. You think he's still in to you too?"

IMH: DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!?!

"Seriously, I call you to ask you for a friendly pep talk and you say that? WORST PEP TALK EVER."

I believe she was mentally preparing a list of any and every guy who was ever not that in to me to remind me of...and then I think she was thinking of drawing me a warm bath and placing a few razors next to it.

You're awesome Best Friend. I can't wait for the next pep talk.


PS. She did redeem herself by telling me she'd text me a picture that I've been making fun of her for drawing for my laughing pleasure...a diagram...in Mr. Sketch smelly markers...that she did for a judge...BA HA HA HA HA.

Hopefully that will help the deep wound she opened.