I signed up for Orange Theory Fitness about $300 ago.  I haven't blogged about it because, well, because it wasn't really pumping me up at first.  I feel like after Crossfitting everything else is just "working out."  It pushed me to my absolute limits, made me so excited and scared all at once.


So, OTF wasn't really making me super excited, no.  However, I kept going.  I started getting to know the trainers.  The front desk said, "Hi Katie," when I walked in and I started buying in to this "new thing."  I got pretty tied to my heart rate monitor ensure to stay mostly green, with some orange and red mixed in there.  I actually starting looking forward to the treadmill.


Then I joined the weight loss challenge (I'm beginning to feel like I live my life in a weight loss challenge and each time I am more inclined to step on the feet of everyone I know who is "naturally thin.").  So far I've lost a total of 0.7 lbs.  <--I apologize, I feel like sometimes all I do is brag on here.

ONE. TINY. VERY. TINY. STEP. AT. A. TIME.


Today I took another step-I ran for the entire 17 minutes and 51 seconds on the treadmill.  In case this is the first time you've ever read my blog (I still hold out hope for my blog full of typos to become famous one day), I'm not a runner.

However, Orange Theory Fitness is making me a runner, one very baby step at a time.  Next goal, a 2nd 5k-running the whole thing.
Did you move today?  I'm nobody to give advice but we can do it together.  Baby steps are still steps.

I'm 3 weeks in to my Crossfit 480/180 Challenge.

This morning I got on the scale and I had only lost 2 lbs. 2 MOTHER F***ING POUNDS IN 3 WEEKS! I almost threw my scale at the mirror but quickly thought that 7 years of bad luck may not assist in my weight loss so I re-thought that.

Then I put on my pants...and they were a tiny bit looser. I chalked it up to the fact that I haven't washed my jeans in 2(ish) wears. What?! Don't even lie. You don't wash your jeans every single time either. They're the perfect fit after the first wear!

So, I'm still pissed at everything. I'm pissed at myself for times that I eat cookie dough on Friday night. I'm pissed at Crossfit because somehow it's their fault I haven't lost weight. I'm pissed at my friends who are naturally skinny because...because, eff them. Why were they blessed with these quick metabolisms anyway?!

BUT...here's where things get good. Get ready. Are you ready? This is a big deal...

My friend, who I met at Starbucks to do work (and we actually did minimal work and maximal chatting) said, "Your face looks so much better. Fresh and thin and great." OH. MY. GOD. I love you Sarah!

Now, I love everything. I love Crossfit for helping make my face look thinner. I love myself for eating right all the other times that I'm not eating cookie dough. And I even re-love my skinny friends because...well because they're my friends and they're hot and they should own it.

It's definitely been slow progress but in just 3 weeks I know I have made some BIG (albeit seemingly slow) progress.


Here are the things I can do that I could before:
1. Double Unders
It sounds like something they made up in Australia to me but really, they are jump roping and when you jump you do 2 swings of the rope around before you come back down. I couldn't do them for weeks and I did them last Tuesday!!!

2. I Can Run(ish)
Boomer who is my buddy doing the CF 480/180 Challenge with me and who is awesome and funny and great by the way. Anyway we were running on Sunday and we BOTH have improved so much. We used to be breathing hard after jogging 1/4 of the track, walking 1/4. Now, we jog 3/4 of it, walk 1/4. We did that 5 times, and then ran the whole thing. Pound it out for Katie and Boomer!

PS. I know I can do it, but I am still weak sauce when it comes to my mind. If he hadn't been running right in front of me, I feel like I would have walked. So, thank you Boomer and I need to work on my brain.


3. I Can Finish My WODs
Even hard ones, I finish. A few times ago I had to lay on the ground, panting, when I was done but I finished. Sidenote: I told my brother about this and he said, "You layed on the ground. You are so dramatic." I said, "Next Open House is the weekend you're here. I can't even freaking wait." So, Derek, Justin, and Brian...you better put a WOD up that shuts him up good.


But I digress...back to I'm finishing my WODs! You have no idea how excited I am about this. Now, I know that I'm not going to get better than anyone in my T/Th class, but I'm hoping some new people will join so maybe, just maybe, I can be better than them. Here's what I'm seeking in new Cfers: couch potatoes, once fit people who are now fat, fat people. Triathletes need not apply. ;)

3. My Shoulders are Thinner
This is where I carry my weight...actually I carry it all over but this part is so annoying to me. I have friends that carry their weight in their ass and thighs. I think I would SO rather that than arms. I mean, your ass and thighs are always covered. So quit your whinin' bottom heavy friends! ;) Anyway, my shoulders are getting thinner. I think I'm losing weight from the top to the bottom. I don't care how it goes as long as it goes.

Next up...I want to EARN my right to buy a CF480 tank top. I can't wait to rock it but I don't think I've earned it yet. I need to set a goal, meet it and then I'll give myself permission to buy it! Suggestions on goals?

Until next time blog readers!

PS. THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading my blog! I LOVE when I hear that people are actually reading!

I say a similar line to my students all the time, "Make an effort, not an excuse."

So...even though I don't wanna go. Even though I'd rather have the super mean lady who cleaned my teeth last time do it again, rather than go running, I'm going. Even though my trainers never go easy on me and never let me get super good at something before they add on the next try-not-to-die task, I'm going. Even though I have a cold, I shall be at the track at 6:30 tomorrow morning...with mother freakin' bells on.

I'm gonna make the effort, even though I totally wanna make an excuse. And then when I'm done, I'll be glad I made the effort. See you in the morning boys!

I feel so good about today's workout. I ran. I ran 4 x 200 meters and hardly stopped at all, and that was in addition to all of the other Olympic-explosive-pop-this-bar-off-your-chest-lifting I was doing.

Ok, so it wasn't THAT explosive and I was only pressing the bar...the girl bar...with no weight, but I did 15 presses and 15 back squats with that damn bar, 4 times.

Anddddd, when they said "Knees to Elbows or chest or some shit" I did hold onto the bar and slightly move your legs but hardly at all.

This is what it should look like:
I looked like the girl in white:

All was going fine until one of my trainers said, "So, you said you'll take your measurements." I replied to this man who I'm pretty sure came out of the womb with a 6 12-pack, "Yep, and I'll put them in a drawer in my house. I'm not showing them to you." Then, he says, "Ok and I'll get that body fat caliber and we'll get that next time," and I think, yeah, you get right on that. I can't effin wait for you to measure my body fat. Maybe "next time" I'll be sick.

I shall end on a super positive note...Back to I ran. I know 4 x 200s are definitely not hard but I am the world's suckiest runner and I did it. I ran the whole time. I finished...AND, are you ready for this? I ENJOYED the running part. I don't know what's going on. Could I actually be getting better...already?!?!?! Does it all work that fast? I'm confused and happy.


So, let's recap...
* I finished my WOD! VICTORY!
* My trainer is going to punch me in the stomach with all his might take my body fat percentage next time (Do NOT look for a post on the results of this...for at least 6 months)
* I ran all of the running part! VICTORY!

Overall...GREAT CF DAY!

So, I'm just starting a new "journey." I joined Crossfit and I'm doing a 6 month challenge.

In a nutshell: I workout, hard. I eat right. Every aspect of my life improves.


So, now I just have to make that happen.

If you're a regular follower, you know I've been to Crossfit 480 a few times but now I, essentially, have 3 trainers watching my every move...3 good looking, super fit trainers making sure I'm doing it right.

And let me tell you, there isn't much that is more motivating that knowing you have to "report" to 3 men AND, here's the worst part. They're all super, super nice. You would think that people with bodies that are that rocked would be rude and condescending but they're not. They're encouraging and nice.

I feel like that's even more motivating. They're not Jillian Michaels yelling at me to pull it together, but I don't know what's going on in their heads so I have to do my best to ensure they're thoughts of me don't suck.

#1-College Friend
He is in charge of making sure I'm eating right.
He's an organic chef. In college he was an organize Adios Mother Fucker drinker, but has since changed his ways.

He and his beautiful wife eat organic, look organic, are organic.

I wish you could see the look I have on my face as I looking into my coffee cup that still has the FFVCC (Fat free vanilla Coffeemate Creamer) in it which is, neither, organic nor without any refined sugar.

He's going to be on me about what I'm putting into my body as well as the teacher for my T/Th Crossfit classes. It's gonna suck, but I'll be there every Tuesday and Thursday.

#2-I'll call him Family Man
I think he might be in charge of my measurements or something. PS. The thought of having someone/anyone measure me is worse than the thought of a root canal. He says, "I'll take your measurements, body compisition and before pictures." I hear, "I'm going to poke this hot stick in your eye, stomp on your face, and then kill you."


"Are you ready? How are you feeling? You're doing good, but we're going to help make you great." As these words are coming out of his mouth, in walks his wife (who looks like she belongs on the cover of a magazine) and his baby daughter (equally as beautiful). They're the cutest family ever, which I almost never say because I think my brother's family took that title long ago, but they definitely rival them.

Again, you'd think they'd be super serious but they're bantering back and forth about which side of the blanket goes on the ground for the baby.

A blog for another day: Why men don't understand things women do. He keeps putting the wrong side of the blanket on the ground and she says, "Flip it over." I am watching all of this unfold thinking, of course flip it over. She always plays on the other side which means one side has been touching the gym floor all the time and she's a baby and needs to play on the clean side of the blanket. He doesn't get that...because he's a man and men don't think like that.

#3-Edward Norton. In charge of my Elements classes and helps me run
When a guy whose back puts Edward Norton's, circa American History X, (but minus the swastikas) to shame says, "I'll be at the track at 6:30 am on Saturday morning. You don't have to come. It would probably be a good idea but you don't have to," you go.

And if you're me, you can't sleep the night before because you're scared of:
A. Being late
B. Dying while you're there

By the way, I went. It was actually really good. I totally didn't die. He had us (me and Boomer, the other guy on the 6th month challenge with me). Run 100, walk 100, run 100, walk 100 x 4. Then we did 4 sprints. It was a bit tough but I could breathe. However, as Boomer and I are huffing and puffing our way through this work-out Edward Norton is sprinting like a gazelle on the other side of the track...and then lapping us.


He also took me through the Elements class, which is 3 classes with one of the owners where they teach you to lift weights like you're going to the Olympics.

Put your feet in Position 1 and your arms in Deadlift position and slightly bend your knees and make your chest big. PS. He kept saying, "Make your chest big," and all I could think was, that won't be happening without some surgery. Now lift a bit past your knees and pop it off your chest and into the air. Holy hell! So much to remember!

As I'm doing these things I am seriously having visions of, "Next us in the Weighlifting competition for the 2012 Summer Games, is Katie Cartier." My fans are going wild cheering me on. And then, I walk up to the bar, get into Position 1 (or was it Power Position?), concentrate, and put the bar with the gigantic weights up over my head. A perfect 10. Yes that was my vision. In reality the weights look huge but only weigh 5 lbs. But I did put it over my head so I am a champion, even if it's only in my own little mind.



So...I'm done with Elements, on to the real workouts.

PS. My entire core is sore today, good sore, not I-can't-move-sore. I think running does my body good. Now, say a prayer that I don't have my annual ankle sprain any time soon.

I went to Crossfit, again, today. That might be all I can type because that's how tired I am...


Another rediculious experience, but not as embarrassing as I thought it would be.

When I walked in, I wondered if I should mention to them that I vacuumed my house this morning and I counted it as part of my work-out. I went ahead and kept it to myself, but I know I burned at least 36 calories this morning already so, REALLY, I should only do 1/2 the work-out.

So, this time they made us practice doing ________ (umm, I can't remember the name of what they wanted us to do but it involved bouncing a giant bar off our chest...and last I checked big metal bars aren't meant to bounce).

Anyway, again, the real Crossfitters went to one side of the room and the rest of us practiced with PVC pipes. I tried to pay attention to them teaching me but all I could think was, "There are 2 GIANT weights on that bar over there and that chick keeps lifting it like it's nothing...I wonder if she LIVES in this gym."

Sidenote: If I'm just thinking and not speaking, do I use quotation marks? Perhaps I should know that since I teach writing. Is this confession making you nervous for the futures of our youth?!

Fast forward to our Workout of the Day (WOD).
200 yard (or was it meter) run.
10 box jumps
10 burpees (to be defined later)
10 chest presses
10 sit-ups
10 air squats

Do all of that 5 times.

I literally looked back at the white board at least 12 times, just to see if someone had written, "Ha ha. We were kidding. We know that's an impossible WOD."

Ok, 3-2-1-Go. I'm in the first group and I start jogging (a slow jog) and everyone else started running. I'm almost back (everyone else is already back) and I'm watching all these shirtless men with six-packs run past me thinking, "This really is awesome. I'm fuckin' PANTING after 1 jog. Awesome that I wore a white shirt that doesn't hide anything. Would they notice if I slipped into the restroom and just pinched my cheeks so it looks like I worked out with everyone else?"

Next, box jumps. The "prescribed jump" was on a box that's 3 feet high. Jump with both feet at once and do it 10 times. Hmmm, since that would be me jumping well over 1/2 of my height, I don't think I'm there. How about the 1 foot high one? How about the curb? I did my on a CURB. How embarrassing. I think I was the only one who had to do them on the curb.


So, after I'm seriously tasting my own lungs I had to do the WORST exercise of all. Burpees. Let me just tell you, I was actually laughing to myself at how rediculious I looked doing these. One of the owners showed us how to do them before we started. He jumps from a standing position into a push-up position, pops back up to his feet, does a little jump and claps. Meanwhile I'm staring at his abs, his VERY defined abs, as he jumps up and his shirt jumps up with it. AND meanwhile I'm thinking, if my shirt "jumps" up while I'm doing these, I'll kill myself. So, needless to say these were the hardest things in life. Imagine hardly being able to breath and doing this jump/push-up/insanity combo 10 times...no not 10 times, 10 x 5 times which for you non-mathematicians is 50 freaking burpees.




Chest presses next...I run over and grab the bar...it was the men's 45 lb bar instead of the women's 33 lb. I do 4 and a girl gets off one of the women's bars. I almost knock people over trying to get to the bar that weighs less. PS. I only did the bar on the first set, then I went to the weight-less PVC pipe. Again, I think I was the only one. Again, embarrassing. As I'm doing this my friend from college is standing there, coaching us along, and I feel like I can hear him thinking, "Is she serious with the plastic pipe? What happened to my friend who used to be tough...and weigh 1 million lbs less."

10 Sit-Ups.
I have never been so excited to do sit-ups in my entire life. I actually got to SIT down.

10 squats. Done.

So, I did the first set of all of it. I did the 2nd set. On the 3rd set, I think I may have been counting each thing I did as 2 so I'm pretty sure I only did 1/2 of them. As my knees were giving out, my head was on fire, and my actual lungs were in pain, I start the 4th run and then I walk and then out of nowhere this angel of a girl who doesn't know me says, "Come on you can do it."

PS. I heart how nice the girls at Crossfit are. Girls I know you know how bitchy girls can be to other girls. When I first starting working at this restraunt in Flagstaff the girls were such bitches to me every night, I'd go home practically crying. But, PS, I college I was hotter than they were AND nicer. So, suck it mean girls from college.

These hot CF girls are so nice and friendly. So, either, they don't see me as any type of threat OR they are just real, live nice people. Either way, thank you random girl for telling me I could do it.

So, that's my story. I think I stopped after the 4th run. I did my best and next time I hope I'll finish. I'm going back on Tuesday for my first Elements class, so I can become a real live Crossfit 480er. Someday I hope to be cheering on some sad and pathetic girl while I rock that run. This shall be my new motto:

I've had a few friends in the past few years talk to me about Crossfit. They said it's super hard-core and that I'd be a good fit for what they have to offer. So, when an old friend of mine told me to check out the open house they were having I summoned (bribed with Sugar-Free Rockstar) my friend, who's always down to get her ass kicked in the gym, and told him I'd go.

He said he'd take "special care of me," and I got scared. Scared as in immediate flashbacks of the restaurant we used to work in together. Scared as in flashbacks of me being slow to type in my orders on the computer, or slow to get his drinks for customers, or slow to seat him...and him ready to get me back for annoying him day in and day out through our college years. Though, I had committed and I know him and I knew it would be WAY scarier to NOT show up than to just go.

So, in the morning, Sarah and I headed to Crossfit. I got there first and the girl at the door was super nice...and nicely told me I was in the wrong place and gave me directions to the right place. So, now I was freaked out about working my ass (that hasn't been worked in weeks months) AND the fact that I was going to be late.

Fast-forward through Sarah and I on the phone, "Is it on Frank Loyd Wright? Where are you? I don't know where we're going," for the next 10 minutes. Fast forward to us walking in late to SCOTTS-FREAKIN-SDALE Cross-Fit. I make it a point to NEVER go to Scottsdale clubs because those people are just too hot for my blood, but apparently Sarah and I just walked in to where the Scottsdale kids hang out during the day, in this hot freakin' gym, in minimal clothing. All those hot, non-eating, beautiful Scottsdale girls. All those hot, non-eating, beautiful Scottsdale boys...and me, who eats and does NOT live in a gym.




Oh well, eff it. I'm here and now I have to show them I came to play. So, we stretch as a group. PS. I was hoping the Scottsdale girls would be bitches...no such luck. People opened up the circle to make sure we had room, they chatted with us, they smiled. UGH, annoying, hot AND nice.

After the stretching we separated into 2 groups. Bad asses, and my group. The Bad Asses were doing pull ups, and not just dudes either, girls too! My group was doing some sort of modified pull up on some rings and I was doing the modifidest (I made that word up) version. 3 sets of 10. Done and done.


Kettle bells were next. I was trying to do more than they told us all the while thinking to myself, "Maybe I should be in the advanced group. These people are moving a bit slow." Next up, wall ball. Same as before. Justin said, "Slow down. This isn't your workout." I thought, "I'm sure the work-out will be more of the same. Seriously, I'm awesome. I don't know why everyone says this is so hard."

And then the workout started..."So, you need to do 18 Kettle Bells, 21 Wall Balls, a 200 Meter run and you need to do all of it 3 times as fast as you can." Me, "WHAT-THE-F-U-C-K." Here's a quick, fun fact. Even though I was scared, I know how this shit works. Those gangster dudes who run these places HATE complaining and HATE quitting. How do I know this? Because I used to work out with some gangster dudes and they were the same. And my family doesn't do the bitching and moaning about hard work. So, I, inherently can be pretty gangster, when necessary, if I do say so myself.

So we go...and I do it. I Kettle Bell. I Wall Ball..and then we have to run and I feel like I AM GOING TO DIE...because I hate running (and when I said I was doing Couch to 5K, I did...for 2 days). People were zooming past me but I kept hearing, "Come on. You got this." So, I had it and I ran.

Ok, 1st set done. 2 more to go. I'll spare you every detail, but I finished and I felt like I was going to throw up. Now, I have thrown up while working out before but it was always because I ate too soon before I worked out. This was different. This was my body saying, "What the hell did you just do to me?!" The nice thing was that Sarah (who is WAY skinnier than me) also felt like she was going to throw up and that made me feel excellent.


Final Thoughts:
I love Crossfit. It's WAY more my style than Bikram Yoga (although I WOULD like to be more Zen). I need Crossfit to be cheaper, like $24 a month would be good.

So, I started back to the gym yesterday.

I got on the treadmill and used my C25K app on my phone which, by the way, is awesome. I mean, at first I was a bit surprised. I really thought that with an app called "Couch to 5K" it would start with something a little easier like: Day 1- Remove your ass from the couch and put on your gym clothes. Day 1 complete.

Apparently my iPhone wants to push my a little harder than that. So, Day 1-5 minute brisk walk to warm up, then alternate 60 second run, 90 second walk for 20 minutes followed by a 5 minute cool down. Not too intense. This thing is great. It tells me exactly what to do and when so I can just listen to my music.

Though, it IS a little bossy. I was hoping for a sweet, "Ok, it's time to run. Good job!" It says, in a manly military-like voice, "Run." "Walk." "Run." "Workout complete."

What?! That's it?! "Workout complete." How bout, "Way to move your ass today. I'm so impressed at your endurance (can I even use those words without laughing when I run for 60 seconds at a time). Way to only watch 2 episodes of Khloe and Lamar and not 12!" So, I need more accolades than most. Oh well, I guess I'll have to call my friends for those because apparently Mr. Drill Sargent voice on Couch to 5K won't be giving it to me.

Today...Day 2 of C25K.

I can think if at least 9 reasons NOT to run.

1. It's hard
2. I get shin splints.
3. I'm clumsy and I trip often while I'm walking. I don't think I'll be coordinated enough to go faster than my everyday walk.
4. The ground is hard.
5. It's hard.
6. I get shin splints.
7. My dog can't run and tries to jump up and play while I run.
8. I look like a fool while I'm trying to run.
9. I don't have cute running shoes.



I mean, seriously, what sounds fun about putting on shoes and moving your feet so fast. I'm not in that big of a hurry so I see no reason to run. If I were being chased, I see the reason. But for a daily exercise regimen, it sounds perfectly awful.


So, I'm signing up for the Pat Tillman Run.