Warning:
I'm in a bad mood.  Do not read this blog if:
A.  You're trying to be inspired to get to the gym.
B.  You're trying to be inspired to eat great food.
C.  You're trying to be inspired*.

*I just misspelled inspired 3 times in a row.  Awesome. 

But, read this blog if:
A.  You're in a bad mood too.  Misery loves company.
B.  You can relate.
C.  You have some kind and positive words for me.

Ok, if you're still here...onward.

You know what I hate?  I hate sucking.  I HATE sucking*.  (I am yelling and pushing really hard on the keys when they're in all caps).
*I'm trying so hard to find a google image of something that depicts "I hate sucking." but...nothing appropriate is coming up.  Get your mind out of the gutter Google!

I don't HAVE to be the best at everything but I hate sucking.

Let me walk you through a little story I like to call.  W-T-F?

I go to Crossfit today and meet a new girl.  She just started.  I was excited for 2 reasons:
1.  I like new peeps and she looked nice.
2.  She was new so I knew I'd beat her.

Turns out, she just had a baby 6 weeks ago (and had a great body, b-t-dub (<----that's by the way).  Perfect, I'll DEFINITELY beat you.  


In September I will have been Crossfitting for a year.  That's a long time to stick to a workout routine.
Our WOD...you know it was a bad/super hard day when I totally remember the WOD when I get home.

18 minutes AMRAP (As many rounds as possible)
10 Wall Balls
15 Burpees...100 Day Burpee Challengers, I DEF got my burpees in today :)
10 Pull-ups
200 Meter Run

We pick up our Wall Balls...3...2...1...Go!
I'll just give you the short version of me working out today.  At 1 point our owner was standing near me clapping some sort of rhythm and I feel like he was saying this in his head, "Get. Your. Ass. Moving. Katie. They're. Just. Burpees.  This. Is. Ridiculous."  I sucked and then sucked some more and then sucked some more and Just Had a Baby Girl BEAT me!  W-T-F?!?!?!

I'm so damn annoyed right now, I cried on the way home and I want to quit*. We always get new people and they're always better than me.  I feel like I suck just as bad as when I started.  I need to go back to doing something I'm good at...sitting on my couch.
*I'm not actually going to quit because I already drank the Kool-Aid but I am mad.  

And...as if that wasn't bad enough, I have been to Sumits (Hot Yoga) 3 times and guess what...I suck there too!  A blog for another day but the instructor actually came up to me in the middle of class with a very empathetic look in her eyes and said with a head tilt, "Are you new?"

And...I've been doing at LEAST 1 workout a day all week and I've been eating great and I GAINED 2 lbs.

Recap:
1.  Sucking sucks
2.  I'm in an asstastic (asstastic, 1 word) mood


And there you have it.  Thank you for reading this inspiring, uplifting, empowering, crabby rant.

I'm going to see Magic Mike...because I'm almost as good at sitting in big chairs while drinking and watching sexay men as I am at sitting on my couch.


Tune in next time for a much happier blog :)

I found this...and I will try and focus on this...

Ok, remember this game...
I'll say it and if you're done it, you have to drink.  You're not drinking at 9 am?  Ok, take a sip of coffee then.

I promise to not get as vulgar as my friends and I used to whilst playing this one.

My friends make fun of me for all of the "normal" movies I haven't seen.  Normal things that I have never done.

I've never seen Mary Poppins.

Or Say Anything

I've never drank a yard of liquor.
I've never seen a show in Vegas.

I've never been to the Grand Canyon...
and I've lived in Arizona for 22 years of my life
What normal, American, things have you never done?!

I bring you The KatieSitting Blues for 3 reasons:
musician: Elizabeth Shue & Bo Diddly


Hi. ahem. Umm, My name's Katie Cartier.


I going to Eastlake, that's a suburb.
They probably figured that out. huh


This is Liliana and Philip 
And we're in trouble.
Ain't no doubt!


See Tom and Danielle, 
tonight's their anniversary.
But then they went and Vegas 
And now I'm here, just them and me.


And it's so hard...
And it's sooo hard...
Katiesittin' these guys.
She's got the......


There was this fall from Lily. 
I went to pick her up.
Dropped my coffee on the ground 
And all day couldn't get caught up.


And the Sippy Cups were so hard
And we left milk in the back
We were cruisin down the highway
And the Jetta had been Kid Attacked!


And it's so hard!
YEAH!
It's so hard...
Katiesittin' these guys.
She got the.....Katieeee sittin' blues.
Katie, Katie. Katiesittin' blues.
I've got the...Katieeee sitting blues.


Well alright!


There's nights....you swear you were born to lose. Not tonight.
And you wish your feet were walkin' in someone elses shoes.


The kids are really hungry.
At least that's what they said.
We ain't got a nickle.
And they should be in bed. 


And you outta luck.
Outtaaa luck, watchin' these guys.
I've got the....Katieeeee sitting blues.
Katie, Katie.
Katieeee sitting blues.
Katie, Katie.
Katieeee sitting bluuues.


There are nights....
You swear you were born to looose...yeah!
Like tonight.
And you wish your feet were walkin' in someone elses shoes.


The kids are really hungry at least that's what they said.


She ain't got a nickle...
AND WE SHOULD BE IN BED!!!
And you outta luck.
Outta luck watchin' these guys.
I've got the....Katieeeeee sitting blues.
Katie, Katie.
Katieeeee sitting blues.
Katie, Katie.
Katieeeeee sitting bluuues. 



And in the end I learned...
1.  It actually wasn't so hard.  They're great, happy and super well-behaved kids.

2.  Every Mom had the best kids.  I'm just the Aunt but I totally have the best kids.  Nobody else's could compare...I'm sure that's how all moms feel.

3.  The little moments are the best moments.  Focusing on those makes the tired seem to dissipate...a little.

4.  Kids cry.  Not all the time but they cry and that's Ok.

5.  Sippy cups are ridiculously hard to put together.  Why are they so hard?!

6.  Routines are ESSENTIAL!  I knew this from first-hand experience as a teacher but kids thrive on knowing what's coming next.

7.  Don't take a 19 month old kid to the movies.  Just don't.

During my 72 hour crash course in Mommyhood
We laughed and I learned oh so much...

I love being an aunt more than I have ever loved anything in the world
I have never experience love like I have for these 2 children
But I bet this parenting thing is probably totally worth it.

Some crazy, fit  peeps at my gym are doing the 100 Burpee Challenge right now.

Increase Burpees by 1 each day until you get to 100 days.

So...
Day 1-1 Burpee
Day 2-2 Burpees
Day 3-3 Burpees

Quiz time...
How many Burpees on Day 6?

That's right!
6

How many on Day 98?
NINTY FREAKING EIGHT.

If you're ever done A (I like to pronounce that as ah for emphasis...think Wayne's World..."I don't even own ah gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate a (you pronounce that one regular, eh---how the hell do you spell things phonetically anyway?!) gun rack."

Way off track...

Back to it. Back to it.

If you've ever done a Burpee, you know that 98 on one day is NO JOKE.
If you've never done a Burpee, see this post to remind yourself.

So?  Who's in?
You can break them up.
We can meet outside of Starbucks and Burpee together.
We can Burpee Skype.
You can do them in the comfort of your own home
You can do them by the pool
You can do them at the gym.
You can do them at your kid's swim lessons...If you do it there will you take a video of everyone's reaction and send it to me so I can post it please?  SO many options!

We can use these rules, from Crossfit Peachtree (Crossfit Peachtree?  Really? That's their name?)
This can be our new motto!  Ah, the power of positive thinking!

If When we finish it we can get shirts like this made OR my gym owner can get them made and you can buy one from him (hint, hint).


PS.  This is TOTALLY not just for CFers.  For all of you.  Yogers.  Zumbaers.  Runners.  Weight Lifters.  Couch Sitters.  Everyone is invited!

Wow, my body definitely is telling me what it needs!

I got back from a trip to Tucson vowing that I would get back on Paleo track and I have.

I feel like my body is saying,
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!

Super excited to try these fun summer foods!


Also, for those who have been agonizing over my having to give up avocados, I am happy to report...I tried eating them again.  I'm a really slow learner and even when I'm given an answer I keep making the same mistakes over and over and over...but in this case it actually worked out in my favor...no so much the case with me dating "bad boys." <----Seriously, Katie, get a life.

Anyway, you can all exhale, I can eat them again.  At least for today I can and it was AMAZEBALLS!  Best avocado of my life.  Thank you Costco and thank you to myself for my phenomenal avacado slicing skills.  It really is an art.  I excel at three things and cutting avocados is one of them.

Ok, I'll share my secret.  You cut it WHILE it's in the skin and then very carefully scoop it out while keeping all slices in tact.  What?  You learned that when you were five?


Pineapple Popsicles
Pineapple, coconut milk and vanilla extract!  So easy and yum!

Chipotle Mango Salad 
(Just sub the creamy dressing for some salsa to avoid the stomach ache)


Frozen Fruit Ice Cubes!
I'm positive I won't make these, ever, but for someone who is craftier than I...great idea!