I know I have mentioned a time or two that I think dating sucks. I might be the person who hates first dates more than anyone in the world. The awkwardness, the what's-he-thinking, the not feeling like yourself. Hate.

However...when you get past the awkwardness I will admit, the fun begins. Ahhh, butterflies, the is-he-going-to-kiss-me, the how-did-we-start-holding-hands, the getting comfortable with each other. All so good.

And then...if you're a human being who has been out with more than 1 person and/or aren't married, it's the...ummm, what the f*** happened?! The late night talks to your friends, the analyzing to death what may or may not have happened, the wondering what you did wrong, the pep talks that it was him and not you.

Isn't there an easier way? Well, Ladies (and gentlemen if you change the genders below) I have come up with a plan.

An Exit Survey

I think it's brilliant. You don't wanna call anymore Boys? That's fine. Just fill this out and leave it on my porch. Easy for you...no actual contact. Better for me...honest answers. A learning tool...you'll know for next time.

Exit Survey.

Dear Man Who is Thinking About or Has Disappeared From My Life,
Please fill out the following survey as an educational tool for myself. Thank you in advance, as this will give me hundreds of hours of my life back that I may have spent wondering what happened with us.

1. Did I dump you? ____ Yes ____ No
* If yes, this survey is over unless you'd like to leave some comments about how amazing I am below. Thank you for your time.




2. I'm not calling you anymore because (Please check all that apply):
A. You're a Stage 5 Clinger and I'm scared.
B. I can't take you home to Mom.
C. You were slutty too soon.
D. I found out your friends were hotter than you.
E. My dog told me he hated you after you left.
F. I'm emotionally unavailable and you will look back and be super excited this didn't work out.
F. You weren't slutty enough for me.
G. You're way hotter than me and I know you would realize that soon enough.
H. You're crazy*
I. Other (Please list a detailed description below):
_____________________________________________

3. If one of the above things were different I would:
A. Call you again tomorrow because I was actually pretty in to you.
B. Consider calling you again.
C. Not even call you if I had left my wallet at your house.'
D. Still get a restraining order

4. If you were to offer some advice it would be:
A. You're a great person and there's nothing you should change.
B. Don't tell the next guy who your future children will look like on the first date.
C. Mattress Mambo on Date #1 = No call
D. I hope you find some Crazy Pills soon.

5. Please write 5 nice things about me below so I can limit myself to 1 pint instead of 2.
A. ______________________
B. ______________________
C. ______________________
D. ______________________
E. ______________________

Thank you for your time and enjoy your life.

*If you selected this answer, please give more information below since every man on the planet says that after they aren't dating a girl anymore.