A few years ago I wrote this blog, I Don't Wanna Buy Your Shit, about Multi-Level Marketing and now I feel compelled to write another one because, quite literally, EVERY single person that I'm close with is doing some type of MLM.  People seek me out all the time to ask to me "Join them," "Try out," and "Are you ready?"

The answer to all of your questions remains, "Absolutely never."  

Why?  Why are you so against this Katie?  It has nothing to do with the products you're selling or the money you are or are not making or whether I really think I could do it.

The MOST important thing in my life are my relationships with people.

If I talk to you every single day,
I love you because we share every single inside joke on the planet and we can have conversations with just a look.

If I converse with you, every so often, through a lunch,
I love you and catching up with you is a priority in my life.

If we talk through text messages,
I love you because there are hilarious things that we need to talk about now and then and I always appreciate the random conversation with a long lost gal.

If we are work friends,
I love you because you are fully aware of what life is like, day in and day out, and it's nice to share that with people.

If you're my family,
I love you because we share the knowledge of what dysfunctional looks like in the best way possible.


Multi-level Marketing cheapens these friendships for me.

How dare you invite me to "catch up" and then attempt to sell me something?  I notice what you're doing,  even in your most subtle way like shaking your shaker bottle or wearing your shirt, and it doesn't just make me mad it makes me sad.  You now see our relationship as a business venture.  You didn't really want to see me, you just wanted to get me on your team.

And then, you make it seem like I'm not someone who REALLY loves and supports you because I didn't do what you asked.
Please.
I have ALWAYS loved you and supported you and I'm always on your !@#$ing team...until you cheapen our friendship and then I'm pissed.

How dare you mess with something so sacred?  How dare you mess with something that has been built over years and years of connection?  No, I don't support anything about your business venture and if you try to subtly shake your bottle in front of me one more time, I'll throw it, but YOU?
I always support you.    

Remember when you were only drinking milk for that diet?
I cheered you for on with every single pound you lost.
I supported you.

Remember when you were in a massive fight with your in laws?
I listened as you worked through it in your head.
I supported you.

Remember when you were knees deep in Postpartum Depression?
I came to your house, took that baby, and let you cry.
I supported you.

Remember when your boyfriend kept treating you like shit and we both knew you could do better?
I listened every single day.
I supported you.

Remember when your kids colored all over your tables when you had a substitute?
I validated your feelings, told you not to kill them, and reminded you that tomorrow was a new day.
I supported you.

Remember when your mom died and your heart crumbled into pieces?
When everyone else shyed away from asking you, for real, how you were?  I asked.
I supported you.

Remember when that guy you brought home peed in your bed?
I sat with you while you called the enzyme treatment company and told you we'd have a story for life.
I supported you.

Remember when you needed a babysitter because if you didn't get laid you might actually die?
I watched your kid and sent you off to a boy's house.
I supported you.

Remember when you thought your son was autistic?
I wrote questions down to ask his teacher, sent you links of things to look for and I let you cry.
I supported you.

Remember when you got wasted and fell off the bench in front of everyone?
I took a picture, laughed my ass off and then helped you up.
I supported you.

Remember when you wanted to divorce your husband?
I reminded you that even though he's an ass, he's still a good husband...and you should get on top.
I supported you.


Don't you DARE make it seem like I don't support YOU and do NOT cheapen my friendship with you by trying to sell me your shit.

I have worked way too hard for way too long to get my friendships to be completely solid and you know what?  You have too.  You have always supported me and I love you...every single one of you, for that.

I will continue to fight for you, call you on your shit, encourage you, ask about how you are and really want to know, laugh with or at you and love you hard.  I will continue to support you and, still, I will not buy your shit so don't even ask.

I'm tired of the gross generalizations.

"What happened to our great Nation?  It's falling apart."

I beg to differ.  The world is not a scarier place than it was sixty years ago...


The 1950s
The 50s brought us the Korean War where 50,000 Americans were killed.  Food was still being rationed until 1954, so I hope you enjoyed the apple you just ate because at that time, it was only for the rich.  Polio was running rampant and killing children, with no treatment or cure in sight.  Jim Crow Laws were still, fully, in effect so no race mixing at the "Whites Only" drinking fountains. Domestic violence, actual men beating their wives was not a criminally prosecutable offense and women could only wear skirts and dresses except to horseback ride.

And they said, "What happened to our great Nation?  It's falling apart."

The 1960s
On November 22, 1963 The President of the United States, John F. Kennedy, was assassinated in Dallas, Texas; an act of hatred and violence. Three African American civil rights workers were abducted and lynched by the Ku Klux Klan.  Four days of riots took place in Los Angeles, where blacks protested poor living conditions.  More riots, this time in New Jersey and twenty six lives were lost and then more riots in Detroit; 40 dead and thousands injured. Our very own US Soldiers mutilated 350-500 villagers in My Lai, South Vietnam...men, women and children. Martian Luther King Jr, a man who stood high on the grounds of morality and peace was assassinated.  Charles Manson, cult leader, and what became to be known as The Manson Family, savagely murdered many in the most horrifying fashion.

And they said, "What is happening to our great Nation?  It's falling apart."

1970s
Unarmed college students were murdered during a peaceful protest at Kent State.  During the Summer Olympics, where the world unites to compete, eleven Israeli Olympic athletes and a German police officer were taken hostage and killed by a Palestinian terrorist group. Nixon found himself in a web of political scandals with Watergate and resigned as the President of the United States.  Ted Bundy did the most unspeakable things to women that he kidnapped, raped and killed.  Jim Jones brainwashed hundreds convincing them to voluntarily commit suicide by drinking poisoned punch-918 men, women, and children gone.  There were not one but two assassination attempts on another US President, Gerald Ford.

And they said, "What is happening to our great Nation?  It's falling apart."

1980s
John Lennon of the The Beatles, a pacifist, was assassinated and people attempted to kill the pope and President Reagan.  Lebanese terrorists hijack Flight 847, holding some of them hostage for seventeen days.  US Bombs Libya with over a hundred US Air Force and Navy aircrafts.  Exxon Valdez spills millions of gallons of oil in the second largest oil spill in US history and it was caused by humans...tired humans.

And they said, "What is happening to our great Nation?  It's falling apart."

1990s
The streets of LA filled with rioters and looters after the Rodney King verdict was announced.
For four months, in Rwanda, over 800,000 people were murdered in an effort to rid the country of the Tutsi people.  Look at that number again.  800,000.  Genocide.  In the 1990s. A six year old girl, JonBenet Ramsey was murdered, possibly by her parents. President Clinton was impeached for lying under oath to a federal jury.  Two young men went on a shooting rampage in their high school.

And they said, "What is happening to our great Nation?  It's falling apart."

2000s
The Nation watched in horror as a hijacked plane was flown directly into the Twin Towers, collapsing them killing almost 3,000 people.  Hurricane Katrina ripped through Louisiana and FEMA took days to respond...days too long.  Enron filed for bankruptcy which became the largest in US History.  The Nation went into a deep recession-house weren't being built, money wasn't being spent, and people were being laid off all over the place. A Tsunami 292,000 people in Southeast Asia.  One man went into an elementary school and fatally shot twenty children and their parents were never the same.

And they say "What is happening to our great Nation?  It's falling apart."

Terrible things have been happening since the creation of the world.
We can't stand by and watch them but we can't overgeneralize that our Nation, our great Nation, has become a bad place.
It hasn't.

I'm teaming up with (I think that's what real bloggers say, "I'm teaming up with") my friend Michelle over at Big Time Literacy  and attempting a writing challenge.  As with most things, I'll probably do it for three days and quit.  Grow up Katie.  Either way, today...I write.

I started writing this blog six, has it really been that long, six years ago!

When it started I was going to write about "The Journey to the Healthiest Version of Me."  No?  Thank you for clarifying.  It was going to be about all things that keep me healthy and sane and how I'm getting there.

I'm still on the journey and my blog has morphed into...nothing.

Sometimes it's exercise.
Sometimes it's food.
Sometimes it's dating.
Sometimes it's memories.
Sometimes it's random rants.

Sometimes they are so funny that I actually laugh while I'm typing them and sometimes they open up places in my heart that I thought were sealed shut, and I cry after I publish those.  Sometimes things are happening in my life that are so ridiculous that I feel like God is making them happen JUST so I have material.

It's important to speak our clearest truths even if our voices shake and, at the same time, knowing I have put so much of myself out there is terrifying.

I know that I'm always the person who pushes "Publish" but when I have conversations with people in 3D, I forget that they may have actually read what I wrote which, basically, means I let the general public look inside of my naked soul.


The purpose of the blog has morphed, but the reason I write has remained the same...I love this !@#$.

I think it might be in my blood.

My mom was a writer.  Yeah, we got a letter or two from her once upon a time.  One of these days I'll figure out how to turn on her ancient MacBook (the huge heavy white ones) and pull her writing off there.

My brother is a writer.  Although he's gotten pretty lazy about it.  Yeah, I said that Thomas.  Grow up and start writing again.  He's actually much better than me.  He was in Honor's English.  I was in normal English.  He knows where all the commas go.  I just pretend.  Grow up Katie. You're a teacher. 

My cousin is a writer and he's hilarious.  I forgot what he does now.  Writes for Boeing?  MSN?  Katie, you're such a narcissistic a-hole.  Pay attention when people talk to you.    Crap.  I can't remember but he's a professional writer.

My other cousin has published books and used to be a slam poet.  He published a piece called "Peggy's Pickles" that will blow your !@#$ing mind.

So that's what we do...we write.

I love it when I get a great story in my head and it starts flowing out of my fingertips like a faucet; those that come so fast that my hands can hardly keep up...and I'm a pretty fast typist.  Thank you Keyboarding class where I was a Freshman and the biggest crush of my life was a Senior.  We used to type letters back and forth to each other and unless I Kon Maried those away, I still have them.  But I digress...as I always do.  My stream of consciousness starts running and I just throw it all on the paper and then I go back and cut/paste like a maniac...until it's ready.  I skim it and before I get nervous and before you proofread I publish.



It's fun for me to write when I have a good story to tell.
It's therapy for me to write when I have big things on my heart.
Sometimes I write for an audience and sometimes I write just for me.
To date I have published 285 blogs and I have 105 in the Draft box.
When my face is being a bitch and my mouth is following, my fingers say it better.

Let's dig in and get real.  I think that's why people like my writing...or, possibly, why they cringe when they read it.  Good, bad, or ugly, it's always real.