A few years ago I wrote this blog, I Don't Wanna Buy Your Shit, about Multi-Level Marketing and now I feel compelled to write another one because, quite literally, EVERY single person that I'm close with is doing some type of MLM.  People seek me out all the time to ask to me "Join them," "Try out," and "Are you ready?"

The answer to all of your questions remains, "Absolutely never."  

Why?  Why are you so against this Katie?  It has nothing to do with the products you're selling or the money you are or are not making or whether I really think I could do it.

The MOST important thing in my life are my relationships with people.

If I talk to you every single day,
I love you because we share every single inside joke on the planet and we can have conversations with just a look.

If I converse with you, every so often, through a lunch,
I love you and catching up with you is a priority in my life.

If we talk through text messages,
I love you because there are hilarious things that we need to talk about now and then and I always appreciate the random conversation with a long lost gal.

If we are work friends,
I love you because you are fully aware of what life is like, day in and day out, and it's nice to share that with people.

If you're my family,
I love you because we share the knowledge of what dysfunctional looks like in the best way possible.

Multi-level Marketing cheapens these friendships for me.

How dare you invite me to "catch up" and then attempt to sell me something?  I notice what you're doing,  even in your most subtle way like shaking your shaker bottle or wearing your shirt, and it doesn't just make me mad it makes me sad.  You now see our relationship as a business venture.  You didn't really want to see me, you just wanted to get me on your team.

And then, you make it seem like I'm not someone who REALLY loves and supports you because I didn't do what you asked.
Please.
I have ALWAYS loved you and supported you and I'm always on your !@#$ing team...until you cheapen our friendship and then I'm pissed.

How dare you mess with something so sacred?  How dare you mess with something that has been built over years and years of connection?  No, I don't support anything about your business venture and if you try to subtly shake your bottle in front of me one more time, I'll throw it, but YOU?
I always support you.    

Remember when you were only drinking milk for that diet?
I cheered you for on with every single pound you lost.
I supported you.

Remember when you were in a massive fight with your in laws?
I listened as you worked through it in your head.
I supported you.

Remember when you were knees deep in Postpartum Depression?
I came to your house, took that baby, and let you cry.
I supported you.

Remember when your boyfriend kept treating you like shit and we both knew you could do better?
I listened every single day.
I supported you.

Remember when your kids colored all over your tables when you had a substitute?
I validated your feelings, told you not to kill them, and reminded you that tomorrow was a new day.
I supported you.

Remember when your mom died and your heart crumbled into pieces?
When everyone else shyed away from asking you, for real, how you were?  I asked.
I supported you.

Remember when that guy you brought home peed in your bed?
I sat with you while you called the enzyme treatment company and told you we'd have a story for life.
I supported you.

Remember when you needed a babysitter because if you didn't get laid you might actually die?
I watched your kid and sent you off to a boy's house.
I supported you.

Remember when you thought your son was autistic?
I wrote questions down to ask his teacher, sent you links of things to look for and I let you cry.
I supported you.

Remember when you got wasted and fell off the bench in front of everyone?
I took a picture, laughed my ass off and then helped you up.
I supported you.

Remember when you wanted to divorce your husband?
I reminded you that even though he's an ass, he's still a good husband...and you should get on top.
I supported you.


Don't you DARE make it seem like I don't support YOU and do NOT cheapen my friendship with you by trying to sell me your shit.

I have worked way too hard for way too long to get my friendships to be completely solid and you know what?  You have too.  You have always supported me and I love you...every single one of you, for that.

I will continue to fight for you, call you on your shit, encourage you, ask about how you are and really want to know, laugh with or at you and love you hard.  I will continue to support you and, still, I will not buy your shit so don't even ask.