Wine
I feel like it's way cooler and more sophisticated to love wine than anything else so I order wine.  I drink wine at home.  And, ya know, there are some wines I really do like-a nice Cab, some cool Pino on a hot day.  And when I drink wine it's not garbage wine.

But you know what I like more than wine?  Bud Light.  Yeah, that's right.  Go 'ol Bud Freakin Light.  I don't even care that I've been acting like I like fancy wine more all these years.  It's time to get it out in the open.

Ya know what I like even more than Bud Light?  Ice water and Sparkling Water.  If you have been posing as a wine aficionado or a craft beer snob who really just loves Bud Light too, you can tell me.  I'll understand.

This is not me.  This looks like a bad headache.

How Much Money I Spend on Magazines
Too much.  Way too much.  People, Real Simple, Us...yeah, it's not ok

What's Under My Bathroom Sink
I'm a hoarder you guys.  Albeit a very organized hoarder but I have more mini and trial sized shampoos, conditioners, and lotions that anyone I know.  Embarballs

That's actually my cupboard

How Many Vegetables I Eat
It's not enough.  I feel like I need to act like a mom feeding a 3 year old and "sneak" them into my food so I'll eat them.  How do you sneak them Moms?  Is there a way I can sneak them in my food I'm cooking for myself without me knowing?


That I Like Sports
I actually really don't care.  I fear that if I tell you that, you won't invite me but I still want to go to watch the game socialize and drink beer.  Also, I like good color schemes.  I have the following sports related clothing: Ducks, Cubs, Bears, Cardinals, Suns, ASU, NAU (no real sports there).  Know why?  A-I was going to a game and liked the colors B-My friends like them.  1 season I really loved basketball.  Maybe someday I'll learn and care about them.  I really would rather just make brownies in the shapes of footballs, for everyone,  while wearing my special shirt though.



How Many Broken Pairs of Sandals I Have
3.  I have had 3 pairs of broken sandals for almost a year now.  I am going to get them fixed.  I am.  Yes I am.

My broken sandals...and 1 more broken shoe

All right, out with it.  What are you lying about?

Disclaimer: If you're sensitive and get offended easily, don't read this.  Also, you can read between the lines that this is just the venting behind the complete green shade of envy coursing through my veins ;)



If you're choosing to read on, don't even say to me, "Umm, was that about me?"  Yes, yes it was.  It was about EVERYONE.  And don't be offended because you know I love the !@#$ outta you...and your spouses...and all your damn rugrats.

Are you choosing to read on?  You've been warned and you know the rules.


Dear Friends who have been married since they finished high school who say, "Just date.  Just get online.  Just do it."
Punch.  You know why.
What in Sam Hell do you know about being single?  Nothing.

Dear People who have kids who say, "Wait til you have kids."
Punch.  You know why.
I DO have a life now and there ARE significant things that go on in with even if I don't have kids...and really?  Offensive.

Dear People who ask, "So, do you think you want kids?"
Punch.  You know why.
Do you know who you're talking to?!

Dear Everyone who says, "Have you tried doing the online thing?"
Punch.  You know why!
YOU try it.  It's a 2nd job.  The only people who ever write me on there are 55 or 18.  Awesome.

Dear all the men who broke up with me only to marry the next person you dated. (That has actually happened more than once twice three times)
Punch.  You know why!
Thanks for ruining my self esteem forever.

Dear People who post pictures of their kids who are going to kindergarten.
Punch.  You know why.
My kids haven't even made it past sperm yet.

Dear Everyone who tilts their head and says, "So, Katie, are you dating anyone?  You really should get out there."
Punch.  You know why.
You can trust that I'll sound the horns.  I promise I won't keep it a secret.
While I appreciate your concern, I feel like that's like walking up to someone who's really overweight and being like, "Ya know, you really should lose some weight."
"Thanks, I've NEVER thought of that before."

Dear Moms who complain about their husbands.
Punch.  You know why.
At least you have a damn husband.
If I cuddle with my body pillow one more night in a row I'm gonna slit my damn wrists.

Dear New Moms who have never held a baby before their own.
Punch. You know why.
I've been changing diapers and holding babies my whole life.
You're such a rookie and God deemed YOU worthy of getting knocked up and ME worthy of babysitting.

Dear My Mother and Grandmother
Punch.  You know why.
I was VERY clear about your job in Heaven when you got there-FIND. ME. A. HUSBAND.  Fail you two. Fail
What the !@#$ are you doing?  Put the cards down and get on it before my uterus closes up shop for good.

Dear God
I hope this is true...



Down the road when I have kids, tune in for the next edition of Punch entitled, "Dear People Without Kids-Punch"  Yeah, we're actually about to write that to you Katie, right after we write, "Dear People who complain that they're single but refuse to date-Punch"

Zombie Stuff
Who the hell cares about Zombies?  They are not real.  Zombie Apocalypse.  Zombie runs.  Zombie shows.  SO lame.  Why would anyone WANT to dress like ugly dead people.  Nobody likes to look at ugly things.



Bacon
Why is it cool to post about bacon all the time.  I mean, it's good but it's nothing I'd want in every meal. Chocolate covered?  Baskets out of bacon? Fun jokes about blah, blah, blah bacon.  Also lame.


Bad Tortilla Chips
Any chips that are NOT My Nana's.  Why would anyone buy something different?  It makes no sense.  No, don't even look at other ones.  Just buy these every single time.  They are the best chips on this planet.  Final answer.




Dexter
I know I said I loved it but I'm over it.  I wanna sit him down and force him to discuss his feelings.  I need him to have way more emotion than he has.  Kill.  Hide the kill.  Kill.  I just can't handle it anymore.  On to more appropriate things for me to watch like Friday Night Lights, what's more relatable to a full grown big adult than small town high school football drama? Nothing and the man playing the 17 year old, Tim Riggins, so hot.

Out

In

Small Coffee Mugs
I like big mugs and I can not lie, you other brother can't deny.  I'm embarrassed for you.  Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed for me too.

But, for realskis, Why do they even make small ones?  So lame.  I don't like almost spilling (actually, I spill every time) because of some small cup.  Katie, you spill because you're clumsy and always spill, it's not the cup.

Ha!  I thought I made that up, but it exists!  Hilar.

Paying for Things
I really am over it.  Everything costs money.  Why aren't there more free things in life?  I totally take back every time I took the fact that my parents bought my toilet paper for grated.  

Listening to...Friday Night Lights on Netflix
I said this to our Assistant Principal today and she says, "Um, you're a few years late."  Story of my life.  I love it.  Small town. Football.  Love stories.  Drama. Love.

Loving...Hugs
There's a little girl at school whose name I don't know.  She LOVES me.  Everyday she gives me the best hug ever.  My mom used to say that all people need at least 7 hugs a day to thrive.  Are you thriving?  How bout your kids?

Hating...How sorry I'm feeling for myself.
Yeah, I am.  Stupid boys make me sad.  Stupid boys.

Thinking...I hope this isn't it
See above

Wanting...to have grown up in a small town
Can you picture it?  Katie at 16, cheerleader on Friday nights, at the local burger joint after the game and every mom's favorite girl ;)  I love my made up life.

Needing...a new tattoo
I'm ready.  Now I know why they say, "Tattoos are addictive."  Go thing I didn't start at 18!

Several years ago, during my 4th year of teaching, I was up in my AP's office and told me a card I had written her was going in her "Sunshine File."

"Sunshine File?"
"Yeah, it's where I put all the nice things people write to me and then when I'm having a tough day I pull it out."


I was totally sold and, now, on each new computer I have had and in each e-mail account I've created I also create my "Sunshine File" folder.



Some days I purposely go back and reread the things in there and other days, like today, I just randomly come across great e-mails, wonderful words that pick me right up.

Here are a few from mine...they go all the way back to 2006 and I bet if I pulled out my "box" I'd find some from middle school (probably folded into some shape with BFF W/B ASAP on it)

Sunshine from my aunt


Sunshine from a little one I used to work with 


Sunshine from my Jedi Master



Sunshine from my brother...1 of the almost 300 e-mails we wrote back and forth during his deployments in the Navy



So, here's my challenge...have you written anything "Sunshine File" worthy lately?  Go ahead, write something.  Perhaps they'll be crazy and reread it over and over and over.  Maybe it will be just the thing to pick them up on an asstastic day?!

If you don't have a Sunshine File, create one now.  You can thank me later...and I'll pass that thanks along to Faith who taught me all about Sunshine Files!

Do people bother you?

Do you love to be alone or with people all the time or 1/2 and 1/2?



Pretty much everyone in my family is an extrovert.  As you can imagine, it's a real b!@#$, fighting for talking time when we all get together ;)

I love to be around people ALL. THE. TIME.  Interesting how you say that since you're never dating anyone.  Touché.


Like, right now, this minute I'm lonely.
It's noon and I've talked to 3 people on the phone and Skyped with 1 person.
My roommate left an hour ago.
Phew, Danielle just text back.
My need for constant conversation is being fulfilled.
I know that every mother on the planet is saying, "I wish I had your life.  What I wouldn't give for 5 minutes of peace and quiet."  Yeah yeah moms.  I don't feel bad for you (I mean I do feel a little bad but you feel bad for me too.  You get a million hugs and kisses a day.  Scout only gives me 10 per day).  Let's trade lives...you'll miss the noise.




I really don't understand people who wanna be alone.  I LOVE to chit chat.  When I lived with Michelle she had to set some limits on my talking..."Um, I need at least 15 minutes when I get home to not talk."  It worked too.  It was hard work but I gave her that time.

This is not to say I love to "go out" all the time.  I would much rather just hang out at someone's house or a fairly quiet bar and chat.  Congratulations, you're 80.  I am.  A nice evening in with some pals is my idea of a great time.  I don't wanna be home alone though.  




Question, is it still an extrovert if:
A.  You can't make conversations with strangers.  SO, scary for me.  Hmm, I think we have a clue into your singleness Kathryn.  

B.  You actually try and will people to stop talking with your eyes when they are boring you.  People bore me a lot.  Talk quickly and be interesting.  Talk quickly, like you "talk quickly" writing your ongoing blogs every damn day?!  Yeah, like that.

Side picture.

I went on Pinterest to find some extrovert pictures and found these.  I want them right now.  Mini cheesecakes in jars.  Oh my God.
                                    

Meanwhile, I'll try and respect your need for silence if you promise to talk to me 24 hours a day.  

A long time ago I saw the movie, "The Story of Us."  Obviously I loved it.  It was about a family, the deep relationships in it and love.  I mean, I think they MADE it for me.

During they movie they play a game around the table every day.  High/Low.



Since this movie I have played this game with every person who I have come in contact with for more than 24 hours...ok, some I've known less than 24 hours.

What's the game Katie?

So, here are the rules.  When it's your turn, you say your "low" of the day and then your "high" of the day.  That's the whole game?  It's not much of a game.  

PS. It's called High/Low but I like to do the Low first then the High so you end on a positive note but I don't wanna change the name because Low/High sounds dumbballs.  <---Lol, I just said that word and it sounded like gumballs.  I really amuse myself.

My brother says, "I !@#$ing hate High/Low."  I know most might believe him because why would someone cuss and be so intense if he didn't really hate it.  Because...it's Tom.  He doesn't hate it.  I'm sure he doesn't.  Why would anyone hate this game?

Here are all the reasons I love it.  Before I start this list, I feel like it would be a million things but I'll probably get tired of writing about about 5 things...but I really do love it a lot, more than just 5 things.

1.  It gives everyone an opportunity to talk equally.  Ohhh, I just realized why Tom hates it.  He likes to be in charge of 100% of conversations so you really have to claw your way in but with High/Low, no clawing necessary.

2.  It encourages communication!  I heart communication.  PS.  If you have moody sweet teenagers, this is a GREAT way to get them to talk.  No more, "How was your day?" "Fine."  Change it up!  High/Low.



3.  You can get a pulse on where everybody is at that time.

4.  My nephew sounds freaking ah-dorable when he plays.  For some reason he must have heard us always start the game with, "How was your day?"  So when we say, "Let's play High/Low," he says, "How was your daaaayyyyy?"

The other day we played on Skype.  I was surprised he said yes because he usually says, "Aunt Katie, High/Whoa is only for dinner time."   He says, "And, my whoa (low), I don't have a whoa today Aunt Katie.  It was just a great day."  <---love him

And I asked Lily, "What was your high?"
"Ummm, Walmart."
"Walmart?  Did you get a doughnut?"
"Yep!"

If you're still not convinced this is the best game ever invented, guess what else?  The Kardashians also play-except they call it Peak/Pit.  It's a cute name but I'm sticking with High/Low and if you play after reading this, you have to call it High/Low too.  Ok?  Deal? Deal.