5 Things I Constantly Need Reminders About:

Disclaimer: While I am about to tell you some disgusting things that will make you want to quit eating fast food, I am doing this for myself as well.

Also, I didn't write any of this except the titles.  I Googled and stole borrowed.

Top 10 Reasons to Swear Off Fast Food

10.  Would you like Diet or Regular Fecal Matter?
Studies revealed that 50% of fountain drink dispensers were contaminated with fecal bacteria.


9.  "I'll have a 6 Piece Chicken Nugget Paste."


"Most people would be extremely unhappy if they were served heart or tongue on a plate," he observed. "But flaked into a restructured product it loses its identity. Such products as tripe, heart, and scalded stomachs are high in protein, completely edible, wholesome, and nutritious, and most are already used in sausage without objection." Pork patties could be shaped into any form and marketed in restaurants or for airlines, solving a secondary problem of irregular portion size of cuts such as pork chops. In 1981 McDonald's introduced a boneless pork sandwich of chunked and formed meat called the McRib, developed in part through check-off funds [micro-donations from pork producers] from the NPPC [National Pork Producers Council]. It was not as popular as the McNugget, introduced in 1983, would be, even though both products were composed of unmarketable parts of the animal (skin and dark meat in the McNugget). The McNugget, however, benefited from positive consumer associations with chicken, even though it had none of the "healthy" attributes people associated with poultry.

8.  "Let me get you some fries after I finish sweeping the floor."
Cross Contamination is the Norm.  When things got busy, the same person who just swept garbage off the floor may be asked to perform cashier duties without washing their hands in between.  They may rearrange your food on your serving tray, help the food line staff assemble sandwiches, grab cups and utensils, all with their bare hands.  What they touched, you touched and probably put in your mouth. 


7.  Cleanliness is NOT Top Priority
One day the restaurant's drainage system backed up and we sloshed around for two hours with plastic bags over our shoes, still serving food, before someone came from the Health Department to shut us down until repairs could take place. 


6.  Frozen Beaver What?
Deciphering food label ingredients leads to unappetizing results. Take the innocuous-sounding castoreum, which is used to enhance the flavor of puddings, candies, and some frozen dairy desserts. You might be surprised to know that it’s derived from beavers—beaver anal glands, specifically.

5: Get I Get That With a Side of Ground-Up Insect?
Many foods get their red coloring—”carmine”—from ground-up insect shells that can cause severe allergic reactions in some people.


4.  Are you a heavy user?



3.  Vegetarian?
McDonald's fries are flavored with "unspecified animal products."



2.  Who cares if it's clean, right?


1.  It's Gross.  EAT REAL FOOD.
You know where your food came from and who touched it if YOU make it.  Take the time.  Make the real food.  Don't eat beaver anal glands or ground up towels or bugs.  SICK.  EAT REAL FOOD.

I haven't felt like I was dying in a while so I guess I was due.

TONIGHT'S WOD WAS SO, SO HARD.

30 Kettle Bells
15 Burpees
150 Jump Ropes
800 meter run
150 Jump Ropes
15 Burpees
30 Kettle Bells

"Wow.  That looks hard," I thought but that was all.
Not total anxiety from reading the board.

I chose the 26 lb Kettle Bell rather than the RX of 35.

3...2...1...GO!

Kettle Bell.  I like these.  Lift with your hips.  The Kettle Bell seemed a lot heavier today.  I chalked it up to, "God's punishing me for going to the Board Meeting instead of Crossfit 480 on Tuesday."  Sidenote: I have SERIOUS Catholic guilt issues.  Everything bad that happens to me, I assume is God kickin my ass for something sucky I did.  I blame my mother.
15 Burpees.  Nobody likes Burpees.  Nobody but I listened to Coach JB and really jumped back up to my hands to make "the movement more efficient."  I now think he really was just trying to make us work harder.
150 Jump Ropes...I don't have a jump robe.  I have to use the super lame jump rope because I haven't ordered one online yet.  Sidenote: Coach JB made a good point..."You spend tons of money on gym clothes and shoes.  You drop a shit ton of money to come to this gym.  BUY A DAMN JUMP ROPE that fits you."

So there I am jumping with my Sped. jump rope and sucking more than usual.  I think, "I'll just 25 at a time and take a few breaths."  I have to adjust my thinking when I am sucking at just jumping 3 times at a time.


Run an 800.  Fine.  I actually looked forward to this but it still sucked.

For the rest of the workout my lungs were ON FIRE.  Sidenote:  When I Google Imaged for a picture of burning lungs, it showed the one below and SEVERAL pictures of Crossfitters.  OUCH.  Sidenote (Yes, another one.  Deal with it.):  If you're wondering what a Crossfit 480 is like and want to try it in the privacy of your own gym, this is a great one to do...minimal equipment necessary and no real way to get hurt.

Anyway, I'll spare you every detail but it was so freaking hard to finish.

I sucked.

I was 2nd to last to finish.  To end on a positive note, I wasn't last.  Look at me seeing that silver lining!  The poor guy who just started was last.  However, he went to the bathroom in the middle of the WOD.  Ummm, what?  That's an unwritten Crossfit rule.  You MUST empty your bladder before the WOD not during.  NEVER during.

I always think it's funny when people who read my blog and don't Crossfit say, "Wow.  You're so hardcore.  You do so well."  If you only knew blog readers.  If you only knew.  I am hardcore, but I'm still way worse than all of the gangsters at my gym.  So, I guess that just makes me mediumcore.  <---Bah ha ha...I seriously crack myself up.

I finished and that's what counts.  The fact that my lungs burned for a good 10 minutes after I was done is neither here nor there.

I went to the Doctor and I swear to God I could hear the LPIHH (little people in her head) the other day and here was the conversation...

Me-"I think I might have a hypothyroid."
Dr-looked at me. LPIHH-Reeeeaaally? (that should be in sarcastic font)
Me-"Whenever I try and lose weight, I work and work and it's really hard to lose."
Dr-continues to look at me. LPIHH-If had a nickle for every time I heard this.
Me-"I'll eat really great for a month and only lose 2-3 lbs."
Dr-LPIHH-Hmm, really healthy? The whole time?
Dr-says in her trying to not be condescending voice, "Well, we can certainly run that test. That's easy. However, what are you going to do if you don't have a thyroid problem, because most people don't? I usually recommend Weight Watchers. Even if you have a problem that doesn't mean that you will automatically lose 20 lbs."

So, they ran the test (and snuck in a tetanus shot which they didn't mention would have the most painful aftereffects in life...story for another blog)

Here's my e-mail from her:
Hi Katie
your thyroid test came back in the normal range (TSH 1.30 - normal is 0.45-4.5)
I do recommend weight watchers and exercising daily - with increasing intensity as your body gets used to what you are doing - but if you continue to struggle w/ weight loss, I can recommend a weight loss center that I refer patients to - just let me know

I feel like she was shaking her head and smirking as she typed this.


Sooo, as it turns out my thyroid is freakin' fine. Cool. So, it's just me. Me and my fine thyroid that needs to shape up.

Seriously?! It’s DAY 2! DAY 2 and I was already taunted, tempted and almost conquered by the cookie dough. Let me paint you a picture…
There I was, walking into Fresh n’ Easy to get 2 things: pine nuts and….and…and…shit, I already forgot what else. I’m so consumed with the cookie dough, I can’t even concentrate.

Going back… I walk in, past the baskets because I was just getting a couple of things. I walk past the lettuce, past the spinach and, past the super-cute and deliciously prepared meals. Walking along, chatting on the phone. Well, since I was on the phone I must have walked around the store 7 times because I can’t concentrate on both things at once (that and I couldn’t find the damn pine nuts).

7th time around the store and by this time I had in my hands: pesto, egg whites (which look like a runny nose by the way), and popcorn seeds and no pine nuts. Even though I know they’re not down the refrigerated aisle, I go down there anyway. Mmm, lunch meat? Nah, don’t need it. Ground turkey? No, not right now. OH MY GOSH!!!! COOKIE DOUGH! I walk closer to the cookie dough to get a better look. They’re perfectly shaped into oversized cylindrical mounds of deliciousness and not just 1 flavor. They were peanut butter, chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, sugar and I wanted them all.

I was literally salivating in front of the sweets. So fresh, so easy, so beautiful. I was having visions of putting a blob into the microwave for a few seconds until it was still doughy, but a tiny bit cooked. At the same time I was having the following thoughts: You can’t be serious? It’s Day 2 and you’re not allowed to fuck it up on Day 2. Come on self-control, kick in. Ok, if self-control isn’t there at least I know that I have to blog about this if I do it. How weak will I look. Dear Blog Followers, I’m weak and I binged on cookie dough on January 2nd. Awesome.

So, who won you ask? KATIE WON BITCHES!! That’s right. I withstood temptation, got the things I needed and went home to make some stuffed salmon. YES! 2 days down…the rest of my life to go. Ahh, God help me!