Ladies, is there anything better than a strategically placed tattoo?

Somewhere on the back or arm or...well, that's about all I can do.  But really, how hot is that?  It adds at least two points to an, otherwise, 6 or 7, add in a bit of cologne and a well maintained beard...he's a 10.  10.

I'm down with the ink but, for me, it needs to be:
Well thought out
Well placed
Good work 

In order words, my expectation is that a man's tattoos are everything that mine are NOT.
What?  Katie! You have tattoos? 
Yes, 2 of them.
I got my first tattoo at 30.  I waited a LONG time to really decide and get the perfect tattoo.

I knew exactly what I wanted written, the first line of Desiderata.  It's such a sentimental poem to me so I knew it wouldn't be some fleeting or trendy thing.  I pinned the placement I wanted on Pinterest-the instep of my foot-my left foot.

I was ready.

Here's a few tips...

DO research the skin you're about to tattoo.  Unbeknownst to me, that skin is "the worst skin you can possibly tattoo-thin and the tattoo doesn't stay."

DON'T get your first (or any actually) tattoos from a guy who learned to tattoo in prison.
You did that?!
I did that.

DO leave the shop immediately if you're getting bad vibes.
I second guessed myself because I just thought I wasn't hardcore enough and needed to toughen up in there.  While that may be true, I'm pretty sure if a virgin skinned lady walks in and asked you to tattoo in a stupid place, it's your obligation to warn her.



DO follow all of the directions to the letter for after-care.   Hot yoga wasn't on the list and neither was wearing flip-flops.

4/7 of the words rubbed completely away.
You're shitting me!?
I've never actually understood that term, but no I am not shitting you.

DON'T go back and let them "go deeper."
They certainly went deeper and although I was a rockstar sitting in that chair (I really was), it resulted in the entire tattoo blowing out.

And now one of my most frequently asked questions is, "What does your foot say." To which I reply, "It says I'm a shitty tattoo," and then they look at me sideways as if to say, "Did you really put that on your foot?" to which I say to their glance, "No, it was supposed to say Go Placidly Amid the Noise and Haste."

My options...
Laser it off-OUCH.  My friend is hard core and did that and her leg had blisters all over it.  I can't.
Cover it up-Hmmm, what do you think would blend in best with black blob?
Leave it-That's probably what I'll do.  Cool.

My story is starting out a little scary

If you want me to go with you to get your next tattoo, I obviously am awesome at it...and that's just my first tattoo.

Haphazard strikes again!

To be continued...