Should I skip this one because I don't have a spouse?



Here's what I will be grateful for...
All the crazy and annoying stuff that comes with having a spouse.  He will not make my life perfect or complete me.  I am a whole person.  But he will be my partner in crime, the man to grow old with me, the person who knows my soul.

Why hello?  I am alive and haven't lost all of my fingers so I think I'll dust off the keys and get writing again.

Disclaimers prior to reading:
1.  Parents, I hear your concerns and they are valid.  
I would never want my son or daughter to come home and be confused by math homework.  I would want him/her to be ALWAYS working within their Zone of Proximal development (which is a fancy way of saying, struggling but not to the point of suffering <--- struggle vs. suffer, I just learned all about that at a math conference).


2.  I agree that there are teachers out there who don't understand the Common Core Standards and therefore are not teaching them well.  
That's a shame and it's bad teaching.  There are no two ways about it.  If you choose this profession, any profession, you need to understand it and if/when you don't, you need to do a shit-ton of homework until you do.  Period.

3.  You can believe me. 
I'm know what I'm talking about.  Democrat/Republican/Math Hater/Math Lovers, I know Common Core Math Standards.  This is my job.  This is all I do every single day-research standards and the best ways to teach them so I can help teachers teach them well.  So, if you continue to read, you can lower your affective filter and just take it in because I know what I'm talking about.

4.  This blog is dripping with sarcasm and knowledge because...well, because it's me. 
Read on or get off now.

5.  I'm not "a math person." 
I was never ridiculously good at math.  In fact, I was never ridiculously good at English or Spanish or Writing.  I was never labeled as gifted or placed in advanced classes.  So, if you weren't either, you're in good company.  I was ridiculously good at socializing in class but that's it.

What I have always been is a thinker and problem-solver.

6.  If you choose to read this, I expect you to, even if you decide you still hate it, use more precise language (one of the Mathematical Practices in Common Core) than, "Fuck Common Core Math." 
Please say things like like "I disagree with a constructivist approach to teaching math."


Ok, those who are still with me...here we go.




"What the hell are these standards that are written by crazy communists?"  


"My kid has homework that looks like this!"  

"I mean, what was wrong with the old way of teaching math?  Fuck this new math." 

I periodically read this blog, Today's Letters.  Some of you know and think it's way too sappy for your tastes but I enjoy living through their world, where life is good and easy and happy.  I haven't written yet because I didn't want to copy it, verbatim but I just can't think of anything better.  I love the title, "Gratitude Lately," which indicates we can have gratitude anytime-all the time for the biggest, littlest and in betweenest things.

So...until I can be better or famous, I'll steal.

For great shows, about real families (and all the realness that comes with families)

For big hugs from little kids

For wine after work




For friends who give it to you straight even when you don't want to hear it


For Facetime calls with my stand in mom who has never tried to replace my mom but jumped right in without a second thought to fully support my brother and me

For random text messages with our favorite movie quotes


For furry friends who cuddle hard


For good reminders that we're all doing our best


Gratitude...which turns everything into enough.  What are you grateful for today?

This is an Emu

Well, do they?

I know one princess who wears hiking boots.  Fire and ice, piss and vinegar, sugar and spice...and everything wonderful, my niece, Ms. Liliana Cartier...but to me, she's just Daisy Goose.

I have met a lot of kids in my life but, never, have I met a girl with a greater mix of characteristics.  She's a complete dichotomy...with the best mixed personality traits in the world.

Meticulously Clean
While we were in the Antigua airport she got a baby wipe and wiped down every surface of the airport.  Tops of tables, all the chairs, and when she tried to do under the table Mom stopped her.  "Why don't you do the windows instead Lily.  Here I'll give you another baby wipe," and Lily promptly takes it and climbs her Aunt like a jungle gym to get the middle of the window.


Disgusting
If you ask Lily about her favorite things she will tell you...
Eyeballs
Fake poop
She steals my phone and makes videos of herself pretending to throw up

What a strange Bird!

Willing to Speak her Mind
We are all walking to the beach one day and she very firmly says, "Mom!  Aunt Katie keeps calling me Daisy Goose and I don't like that and I told her to stop and she won't!"  Aunt Katie, who is one foot away from her says, "Lily, I call you that because I love you and that's my nickname for you."
"Well I don't like it!" she exclaims all but stomping her foot.

Sidenote: We had a private conversation later and made an agreement that I could call her Daisy Goose in her birthday books and "only a few times in a whisper."


Another day we were playing dolls and we finished up and I went down the hall, or at least I thought we were finished.  She walks up, hands on her hips, "Aunt Katie. I'm upset! And you know who I'm upset with?  You!"
"You are?" I reply chuckling to myself, "Why?"
"Because.  Dad pways babies WAY longer than YOU"
"I mean, how you do you know that?  You can't tell time."
"I know.  All we did was drive in the car with them and that's it!"
"Well, actually, we brushed all their hair and got them dressed, we loaded each one in the car and all their food and toys, we fed them, we got to the camp site, we put band-aids on them, and then we got out of the car and we took a nap.  I feel like the babies did a lot and I played for a long time."
"Well you didn't.  Dad does more than that."

I scoop that girl up...Oh, that strong willed little girl certainly has my heart.

Girly Girl
She LOVES to have her nails painted and wear dresses.  One day, a random Tuesday, Danielle said she could wear a dress but not a fancy one.  She comes out in a beautiful, VERY fancy, flower girl dress.
"Mom, I got one." "
Lily, I thought we said not too fancy?"
"This isn't fancy.  I have to wear it." she says as she puts on her medal, her beads, and her purse.


No Emotion
I'm having a conversation with Danielle and her sister.  "Yeah, Lily, never shows emotion when she is happy or thankful for something."  I am floored.  What?  What do you mean?  I have never noticed it.  Danielle says, "Oh, she totally doesn't.  Watch her."

The next day I took her to get new earrings.  She went back and forth about whether to match mom's color or get pink.  She finally decided on pink and we got them in her ears.  No thank you from Lily.  Now, if you've ever been around my sister-in-law with her kids, you know that they are expected to say thank you almost before they receive the item.  Say it, write it, call, Facetime.  They ALWAYS say thank you and if they happen to forget, all their mother has to say is, "Excuse me?"  (Hashtag: best mom ever) and they abruptly come back with a huge thank you and hug for whatever they received.

So, back to Lily's earrings.  I wondered if she liked her earrings.  I mean, we spent a lot of time in that store if she hated them.  I said, "Do you like your earring?"  Without looking at me she said a dismissive, "Yes."  I say, "What do you say?"  She quickly says, "Thank you," and we move on.  I honestly wondered if she just didn't like them but I was assured by her mother that she loved them.

No emotion.

I'm still baffled.

Obsessive Compulsive Four Year Old
We're at the water park and it's time to go.  The park is closing but we have to wait.  Lily is rearranging about 20 chairs, lining each one of them up and we can't go until she has done EACH one.

Danielle tells me that when Lily gets in trouble, the worst thing that can happen is Danielle taking away the things she puts in neat rows-her seashell collection, her dolls.

Lover of Life
You know those moments where you catch yourself thinking, "I hope I never forget this."  I watch her tiny body climb up on the bow of the boat amongst a backdrop of crystal blue water and yell as loud as she can, "ONEEEEEEE, TWOOOOO, FREEEEEEEE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX," and she jumps into the ocean with a giant smile!  Some kids always jump on three but Lily jumps on whatever number makes her happy.



I used to say, simply, Philip looks more like his dad but has the personality of his mom and Lily looks more like her mom but has the personality of her dad...but I don't think it's ever that simple.

These kids...my favorite children, are each, in their own way, the perfect combination of Tom and Danielle.  I'm such a broken record because I say it all the time but those two are raising kids that people LOVE to be around.

And to you, my favorite Daisy Goose (remember, we agreed that I could call you that sometimes).  It's never a wonder why people fall in love with those golden eyes, blond curls and giant personality. You're simply perfect...perfectly you.   You are going to change the world Liliana and I'm so excited that I get to watch you do it.

I love you bigger than the sky.

Before you read I have to tell you something...there are no pictures in this blog.  I have been looking for pictures for about 20 minutes and I can't find anything and I'm over it.  You've been warned.

My friend posted this article tonight and I loved it...
Unfair Advantage

If you don't click on it because your fingers are so heavy that you can't even lift them to click the link or because if you click the link, then you'll have to click the back button after you read it to get back to my blog and that's just too much work (Yeah, I know you ;) ), here's the synopsis...

We all have unfair advantages-things we are really good at that take minimal effort on our parts.  She goes on to say that sometimes it's difficult to spot our own unfair advantages.

I mean, maybe you DO know yours but it could make you sound like an arrogant a-hole so you don't say them?  Obviously, I'm totally ok with sounding like an arrogant a-hole so here is a list of mine. Bah, ha ha.  Nah, I won't give you a list but I do want you to think about yours (and I secretly want you to tell me mine because I am that full of myself...and admit it, you are too).

In case you were going to tell me that I'm unfairly advantaged at softball, I can tell you I'm NOT unfairly advantaged at softball...or soccer...or swimming...or any sport on the planet.  In fact, unfairly disadvantaged might be a more appropriate term.

So...I want to know your unfair advantage (I'm wondering how many times I can use the same phrase in 1 blog) and how you make it work for you and if you can't think of yours, I'll tell you what I think your unfair advantage (one more time...and two more after that) is.

Let's go a step further...
Unfair advantage at work.
Unfair advantage in life.  

Go.