I've been dating someone.  I know!  It's been a couple of months.  I know!  How exciting, right?  The beginning...those looks...first kisses...that getting to know one another.  So cute.  Such good stuff.  I know!

But before you start playing "Katie's Fight Song," and send the cheerleaders and trombones...I think it's done.

Awe.  Sad face.  (I know I haven't written in a while but remember that italic is your voice)

It was good for a bit.
I'm pretty attracted to him.
He has my same dry, sarcastic sense of humor.
He's smart.
He knows how to work on cars.
He has a house that doesn't look like a bachelor pad.
He has kids, which I'm cool with but...

HE. IS. SO. BORING.
I am really debating on whether I should be posting this because what if he finds out?!  We won't tell him.  Please continue so I can continue cringing on my couch while reading about your life. 

At first I thought he was just a boring texter...Here are two examples of our conversations.  That's every single conversation for the past 3 months, not kidding.



So, ok, not everybody can be as freakin' hilarious as I am when texting.  Katie, you're not hilarious and those aren't THAT boring. 

Just trust me.  Tiffany read through all of them and said she almost fell asleep.

So, we keep hanging out.  Ya know what, he's pretty damn boring in person too.  He never asks about me.  He only talks about him...in a boring way...with no inflection in his voice.  I feel like I'm more passionate about my morning breakfast than he is about his own kids.


Katie, maybe he's just not that in to you.  Yeah, you could be right but I think he IS kinda in to me, as least as in to me as I am to him.

You know when he's not boring?  When we're making out but that's honestly not the most exciting thing ever.

Today we talked on the phone for the first time.  Yes, our "relationship" is so 21st Century-text or hang out, nothing else.  So, he was on a long drive and I told him we could take our relationship to the next level and talk on the phone.  You said that?  You're so embarrassing. 


I didn't say exactly that but he did call.

We were on the phone for 13 minutes.  13 lllllllloooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggg minutes.

Conversation:
Me: Hi, how's your drive!
Him: Long
Me: Oh, well how was your weekend?
Him: Fine.  On Saturday I went to the hospital because my friend cut dropped a table on his foot. (please read this with the most monotone voice possible)
Me:  Oh my gosh!  That's terrible!  That was really nice of you to be there for him.  Was it broken or just stiches or what?  (please read this with the most non monotone voice possible).
Him:  Stiches.
(Silence)
Me:  So, my weekend was good (because you didn't ask).
(I continue to tell him about my weekend and I don't even remember the rest of our conversation because it was super lame)

13 minutes.  13 long minutes later, we said good-bye.

And that, my friends, was the straw.  Consider that back broken.  Peace out Mr. Boring.  I just can't handle it.


On to the next...I have a real live blind date-as in, I haven't even see a picture of him, that a friend is setting me up on tomorrow.

Ok, I'm ready.  I'm ready for you to talk your !@#$ about how I need to give him more time (really? more than 3ish months?!), how I'm too picky (and I SHOULD really date people who put me to sleep).  Go ahead, I can handle it.  OR you could just be Team Katie because you're MY friends and your ALWAYS supposed to be on my team ;)

PS.  If you totally wanna set me up with "the perfect guy for me" but are afraid that I'll write about him, I'll go ahead and sign the "Non Disclosure Agreement" ;)

My first blog of 2015!  Actually my first blog in months.  Time to dust off these fingers and get back to it.  I went on sabbatical from my blog for a bit because I didn't think I had anything to say that you'd wanna read but !@#$ it.  I'm writing anyway.  Either, I'll write and you'll slowly taper off from reading because too many posts in a row suck or I'll find a way to get funny.


And for tonight's delight, I'll attempt to become a food blogger.  Is that what they're called?  Recipe blogger?  Whatever, below there will be food...and a recipe.  In case you're about to dig into your phone or computer, there won't be actual food on my blog, just a picture.  We're clear?  Good.

Tonight the dinner I made was AH-MAZE-BALLS.  Yes, imagine giant balls of amazing.  That was dinner.  It's probably my new favorite thing.

Here's the slight problem, I only kinda used a recipe.  So, if I go to recreate it, it might suck because I'm not entirely sure what I did.

So...if you choose to use this recipe, use at your own risk because I'm guessing on some of the measurements.

• 1 good sized spaghetti squash
• 2 minced cloves of garlic
• 1 and a 1/2 ish diced green peppers <--- there were 2 but I threw away some pieces because it looked a little old
• Some olive oil
• 1 1/2 small diced onions
• 1/2 of a jalapano diced 
• 1 thingy of turkey meat
• 1 can corn-drained
• 1 can black beans-drained and rinsed  
• Some cilantro 
• 1 avocado
• Cheddar Cheese
• Cumin
• Garlic Salt

I can't believe I'm almost 2/3 of the way through this thing...

Some of these things are profound life lessons and some are about bananas.  Take what you want, learn what you will.  Your welcome for all this wisdom, about fruit, I am about to bestow upon you.

Also, here's the warning.  You're about to read a few things that might make you say, "Katie, that's unhealthy to do to your body."  To that I say, "The benefits are FAR outweighing the pitfalls and I am not going to die.  I promise I super take care of myself in the studio, laying down in Shavasana whenever I feel the need (and sometimes when I just get lazy)."


5.  Electrolytes 
Conversation with a girl at work (who, bt dub, had a baby like last week and has a six pack again):
Me: I need more electrolytes.  Google said so.  My sweat is like pure water, no salt and I'm getting dizzy. <--- Side serious note:  This was actually happening and it is dangerous so if you're gonna do 30 days, be a bit more prepared than I was.
Her:  You need to down some coconut water.
Me: Nope.  I'd rather pass out.  That shit's disgusting.
Her: It's so good.  Get the one with pineapple.
Me: No, that one is gross too.
Her:  How bout the one with orange?
Me: I'm never drinking it.  Ever. Ever.  And, also, I think you're kinda gross for drinking it (but in my head I was thinking: Is that the magic you drink to get that stomach?  If so, I may reconsider)

It tastes nothing like this picture makes it look. This looks like pina colada. It tastes like rotten fruit water

So, the yogis in the studio said I could get electrolyte tablets and take those.
Option 2: Emergen-C. Hashtag: sort of gross but stomachable <-- new word.
Option 3: Gatorade 2.  Hashtag: Low in calories and full of chemicals.

I'm doing, both, 2 & 3 only because I haven't been to the store to get the tablets.


4.  Bananas
When I first started, probably days 5-15, I would super crave a smoothie when I left.  I didn't know why but I think it was the sugar and also the potassium.  Apparently potassium is a very important thing and I'm not sure what else has potassium but bananas do so I have recently upped my banana intake.

It helps with the hand and foot cramps which were happening, BAD, on Days 13-15.  That was right up until I found out about the bananas.


3.  We Can Do So Much More Than We Think  
My brain wants me to quit way before my body.  I will seriously go into class saying, "I'm not doing Flow 3 today and I'm not doing 2nd set of Eagle," and then low and behold my body can keep going.  Our bodies can do so much more than we think they can.


2.  Stop Thinking
One of my instructors says, "You can't think and do yoga at the same time."

I have to remind myself to not get in my head.  Tomorrow morning I have to go to 5:30 am yoga, do my whole day, and teach at ASU.  Normally I'd let that start spinning me out of control but I'm not letting it.  1 thing at a time.  I can do this.  I do yoga every day and I love it.  So, get up and get there.  Done.  Stop thinking and do. When I would get all freaked out about eating or lifting my friend would say, "Stop thinking about it and just make it happen."

Not everything has to be a big deal.  In fact, most things aren't.

1.  Go Easy on Yourself
Doing yoga every single day ensures that I will not do great every time I go.  I feel like that's so much clearer as I'm doing it every single day than it was when I was working out 3 or 4 days a week.  Some days I'm so deep into Pigeon I feel like I can actually see my hips opening and other days I can hardly get down at all.  There are times that I am holding Warrior C and am actually sad when she says the next pose because I want to stay there all day and other days when I'm sure the other yogis can hear me audibly saying, "Fuck," multiple times as I fall out over and over again.

Alex, one of my very favorite instructors says, "It just yoga!"

Isn't that right with most stuff in our lives, "It's just _________________."  Re-freakin-lax.  Nothing goes perfect every time.


I seriously eff something up every single day and most days, I'm totally ok with that.  Yoga is teaching me to be more and more ok with it.  We fail.  We learn.  We do it again. <--- I want to do a little dancy jig here just to add emphasis.  Pretend I'm doing that right now.

So, lesson for the day: go easy on yourself.  I bet you did your personal best in most of the things you did today.  Good for you.  My yoga sucked and I was all over my mat today but I went and I Downward Dogged my way through class.    Good for me.  We got up and did our thing today.  Good for us.


Benefits so Far:
- I'm SO MUCH more flexible than I was before and since we store emotions in our bodies, I have let some of those go as well.
- I'm less tense and more relaxed.  My options to remedy my tension were either Zanax or Sumits, I chose Sumits.
- I'm stronger.  In 2 weeks, I notice a huge different in my Up-dog
- My skin is glowing.  It's soft as a baby's butt.  If your hands are really clean and we are close you can feel it if you see me.  If your hands are dirty and we don't know each other, I'd rather you don't touch my face.
- I think I'm slowwwwwly losing weight.  I can't be sure of this because I won't let myself get on the scale but I think I might be.
- My eating is totally under control.  I don't have those out of control times where I want/need to eat everything in sight.  I feel like I eat what I need and that's all.

Because I'm an all or nothing girl, I'm all in right now.  I'm doing 30 days in a row of Sumits (hot yoga)


In June I did really great at working out-swimming 3 days a week.



July, not so great.


August, didn't move my both once.


September, I think when you count cleaning your house as your only workouts, you're not working out enough at all.

October, whoops I'm fat again.  Weird. How did that happen?

Out to happy hour the second the kids leave shortly after school on Friday and walk past Sumits.  I walk in and get the card and some information.  It turns out that it's been so long since I've worked out there that they will let me do the 2 weeks for $20 again.  Awesome and how sad at the same time.

I go one day.  Then I decide to go the next day.  Then, I go the following day.  Then I'm in.  I decide that I'm all in and ready to rock 30 days in a row.


I text my sister-in-law, Danielle, who is a certified yoga instructor after Day 4 and tell her it was my worst yoga session ever.  She said, "That's the way it goes.  One day you're gonna be super strong and steady and the next day you'll fall over if the wind blows wrong."  It reminded me of when I was doing Crossfit.  I guess our body just flows that way.

Day 5 I bought a ridiculously expensive piece of rubber yoga mat and had my best session.

Day 6, today, was just ok.  Not terrible, not great, but I got up and I went so go me.

Now that I'm in, I feel like I NEED, not want, NEED some new yoga clothes.  I've been on the Lulu website multiple times a day.  And I'd like a new yoga towel because I don't like the color of mine. Right after I bought my new mat, I told Erica, my co-worker and yoga friend, "I'm going to reward myself every 5 days."  She replied, "Um, that's going to get expensive."  So, I'm going for some less expensive rewards.


Another "reward" I like to give myself is a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Whole Foods after yoga class.  The other day I "rewarded" myself with three breakfast tacos with a secret ingredient of hollandaise sauce on top.   Umm, I think we might be defeating the purpose here, but seriously, that PSL is the best thing in life. Hashtag: baby steps.  Hashtag: Katie you don't need rewards every time you do something good for your body.


I may need some, "You can do its" tomorrow and the next day in a few days.  I'd love some feedback if you've ever done a 30 day challenge and have some sage words of wisdom.


I'd not love some feedback if you're going to say, "That's too much.  Hot yoga isn't good for you. What about some moderation? " You know that's not how I work.  That's why you're still reading the damn blog called JOURNEY to the Healthiest Version of Me.  I haven't figured this shit out yet.

Until next time...Namaste.

My heart hurts, today, for the people I know and the place I once worked, in Durango, who lost a dear friend and colleague.  I think of the heavy load they carry as their hearts are breaking.  I think of a small town who is rocked to it's core, but then I smile.

I smile because in that small town, people show up.  The community comes together to make meals, give hugs, cry with, and hold each other up.  I begin to wonder, who do I show up for?  We all have people we do that for.  And we all have people who do it for us, those people who show up when our whole world feels like it's caving in around us.

They call.
They send cards.
They text.
They make meals.
They do your laundry.
They take care of your kids.
They force themselves over to your house and into your life because they know, while you might say you want to be alone, this load is to much to carry alone.
They don't care if what they say makes you cry harder because crying is healthy and healing.
One of my "Showwer uppers" once told me, "I don't care if you don't call me.  I don't care if you don't think you want to talk.  I'll be in your life because you need me." And I did.


Who have you shown for?  Do you know someone who needs you?  Don't think about it.  Do it.

I'm a big baby!  It doesn't matter what I'm doing or where I am, these things turn me into an instant puddle.

1.  Standing ovations...for anyone, anything, anytime, every time.


2.  Babies being born.  Those first moments with Mom.  Can't help the tears.


3.  Watching teachers do something they have been working hard at getting.  It's actually fairly embarrassing to cry while standing in the back of someone's classroom.


4.  Movies about families-My Sister's Keeper <---I can't even talk about this one, The Family Stone, When a Man Loves a Woman


5.  Van Morrison-"These are the Days"


6.  Heartfelt letters that are super detailed thanking other people


7.  Anything my niece and nephew do for me




8.  Elton John-"Tiny Dancer"


9.  Men in uniform reuniting with their families


10.  Isreal Kamakawiwo'ole-"Somewhere Over the Rainbow"


11.  Big groups of kids singing

12.  Watching the man look at the bride as she walks down the aisle

13.  Catching people do kind and genuine things knowing they were probably never get any recognition for it.


What gives you instant tears?