You can read this as if I'm talking to you and I kinda am talking to my fellow Grinders but mostly I'm talking to me...
I give you the top 5 reasons to lose weight

And it's not very feminist friendly but then again, I never claimed to be a feminist.  Women should be barefoot and pregnant...and skinny!

5.  Because When Did Other People Get So Much Hotter? 
Going out to dinner with your oldest friends who have had MULTIPLE babies and STILL have bangin' (yeah, I said bangin') bodies kinda sends a message to you...and the message is PUT THE BROWNIE DOWN!

4.  For the Compliments
You look so smart.  You're so good at your job.  That's a nice outfit...ok that one is getting closer.  We don't give a !@#$.  You look hot.  You look skinny!  Ahh, the money compliment.

Yes, please.
3.  People Who Don't Know the Code
There are people online that don't know the code of posting photos and you're either not close enough with them to say, "Why the !@#$ do you hate me?" or have just settled into your fatness enough to realize that's what you look like.  Well, you don't have to!  Put the brownie down, Katie says as she plans the gallon of brownie batter she'll eat for her "cheat meal."





2.  Because You Ruined the Picture
The one that your sister was kind enough to take but would never post (Hashtag: best sister ever for never posting).  You know the one of you burying your niece in the sand and your fat ass turned what could have been a spectacular moment of cuteness into ____________________ (insert squishy fat sound here)?!  Yeah, get skinner for that photo.

Put that photo on your fridge and don't forget what you look like right now...and that right now is a great time to choose asparagus rather than brownie batter.

1.  Fat you is Less Hot Than Skinny You...and You Love Skinny You
Ok, there are a few people who look better fat but, unfortunately, I'm not one of them.  So, be skinny and hot or be fat and ugly.  You choose.


She's beautiful and social and fun and hot!  Be her!

This blog is brought to you by Shallow and Post 2 Glasses of Wine Katie.