I'm posting a rant because that's how annoy, noy I am about this situation but then I'm going to counter it with a happy blog...

Onward.

I went to Paradise Valley Mall yesterday.

A few things...

1. What's that smell?!  
Have you always been greeted by the strong stench of Wetzel's Pretzels and that place that hands out samples of "meat." <--- I put it in quotes on purpose?  It just surrounded my nose and my clothes the second I walked in the doors.  Ew!  I HATE smelling like food.  Ugh.

2.  WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MALL?!
It did have all of the stores that I need to return/exchange things at: Victoria's Secret and New York and Co but it also had a variety of other stores, stores that I have never heard of and I'm not sure who shops at them.  This part would be funnier if I could remember the name of a single store that I'm referring to but just imagine a lot of stores where nobody shops.

3.  What's that other smell?!
Oh, it's Hollister, pumping 50 gallons of unisex cologne out the door to assault our noses as we walk by.  I'm surprised people aren't laying, passed out, near the entrance of that store.

4.  Welcome to the 21st Century!
I will admit that I am HORRIBLE at returning things.  This poses a bit of a problem since I like to buy clothes online.

So, the process usually goes...
1.  Click to buy clothes.
2.  Clothes arrive on my doorstep
2.  I like 1/3 items
3.  Lay the ones I don't like on the back of my kitchen chair.
4.  Let them sit there for 1-4 months, lose or throw away the receipt somewhere in that time frame
5.  Attempt to return the clothes.
6.  Get told that they will give me $3, store credit, for the shirt I paid $38 for.
7.  I get pissed.

As I write the next part, feel free to remind me that I need to follow the rules if I want to return things.  Remind me that I'm being irrational.  Perhaps that's true but I don't give a hoo-hah, I'm on a roll...

So, there I was...New York and Company.  I walked in to return the shirt that looks cute online but was stupid in person.  I asked the gal if I could return it.  "Sure, but since you don't have the receipt, we can only give you the lowest price it's listed for now."

I was totally the, "May I please speak with your manager," girl yesterday. (PS.  I hate when people are rude to anyone, so I was trying to work with him in the calmest way possible because, obviously, he didn't create the computer system and also (as a part of this run on sentence) my dad taught me how to get almost anything you want my calmly escalating).  He told me exactly what the girl told me.  Imagine my surprise when my Calm Escalation Technique (I'll go ahead and trademark that term to Tim Cartier) didn't work.

I didn't have the receipt.
Who saves receipts?!
Look it up with my card like every other store in America can do.
It was only about 1 month ago that I bought the shirt.
Why the hell can't they look up my purchase on my card?
THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY!


So...once again, I have a stupid shirt that I don't want because I refuse to give it back to them, only to get a few cents on a stupid gift card.


I'm not a fan of the mall.  I hate everybody who works there...or goes there.  I just hate everyone.

Next time I go back to the mall, I'll have my tennis shoes on, it will be before it opens, and I'll be power walking the inside perimeter of that !@#$.  

Rant over.