Yeah you read that right.  Who am I with 3 date in 5 days?!  I am a girl who is bound and determined to find "him."  I waited and waited for him to show up at the door but the only man who comes knocking is the bug guy.  So, makin this happen this year!

Before I start we need to establish a rating scale from these men.  All the cool kids have rating scales. Two thumbs up, rotten tomatoes, hot peppers.

Here's the scale:

I made that scale in Word, in LD Elementary font.  Another reason you're single.  

So, to review.
Date #1-Skinsuit.  If you didn't read about that one, you can catch up here.

Onward to Date #2

Pre-Date:
Text dating posse.  We've named him Lasagna because his tag line (have I told you in the last 15 seconds how embarballs I am that I'm online dating?) is Italian something-or-other.

One of the DP (that's Dating Posse for short...and because I'm not exactly sure how to spell posse) said we could call him pancetta and then she went on to define for the rest of the group that pancetta is italian bacon.  In case you weren't sure as well.  Everybody knows that Katie.  Yeah, I know.

Date:  
We go to Half Moon.  It's game day.  Apparently people who watch football like to go to bars on game day.  It was PACKED.  We sat on the patio and everyone was smoking.  I was choking.  Anyway, Lasagna and I sat down.

First thing I noticed, gnarly mouth.
I almost imagine myself kissing them and when I pictured that one, it didn't give me a good feeling.  More like a bad feeling.

I feel like I could pick things about him apart like:
He was wearing a raggity Vans tee and he bit his fingernails down to the quick.  Ya know when the skin is growing over the top.  Eww.

However, at what point is it not funny and it just sounds bitchy?  And which time will it be that I describe a guy and a friend of Lasagna's reads my blog and tells him because it WILL happen.

In fact, side story...
Once a guy asked me on a date with my graphing calculator.  It was super cute but, being the b-word that I can be sometimes, I made fun of it to my other friend (I use the term friend loosely because he was actually HIS friend and not really mine).

Well, wouldn't you know it, he told him I was making fun and looked like a big B.  PS.  If you're reading this, which I know you are, thank you for telling him, she says in her most sarcastic voice.

I am a firm believer in Karma so I'm working to be funny without making fun...hmm, I'm really gonna have to work on that.  Now taking any tips.

Great.

I mean, yeah, those things about him were true but if I were in to him, if there had been a spark, I probably wouldn't have noticed.  I know I'm not perfect by any, any means.  I'm certain that if a man looked at my toes they would write a blog about me.

The last guy that gave me butterflies bit his nails bad but I didn't even care cause I had heart eyes for him.

Bottom line, Lasagna was a really nice guy, really nice but I wasn't that in to him.  Ahh, I miss butterflies.  Where are you Butterflies??


Rating:
2