Let's just get the bad news out of the way so I don't feel like it's looming over my head...
I failed at my 1st juice fast.  Yes I did.

Now let's walk through it...

I watched "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead," and decided I needed to "Juice."  My friend who juices was super on board.  She told me she was going to do a juice fast and asked if I wanted to start with her.  "Yes!" Just the motivation I need, I thought.

I went out to nasty WalMart and bought a juicer and tons of produce (don't judge me for buying produce at WalMart).  Roughly $200 later, I was ready to begin my 10 Day Juice Fast.

Came home and chopped, peeled, and juiced my ass off.

  


I put them in cute mason jars and labeled them with Expo.


Then I ordered a pizza.  No, I'm not kidding.  I just wanted to make sure my body was really toxic before starting.

I put this little chart idea I saw on Pinterest up.



I posted in my Boots to Ass Juice Group.  I posted on Facebook.

Sunday Morning:
Drank my 1st juice-Mean Green...not bad.  Spinach, Cucumbers, Celery, and Granny Smith Apples.
I was tired all day.  I took 2 naps.  1 is normal for me, 2...not so much.  Then I got a RAGING headache (Caffeine, I think).  Well, I may be exaggerating about the raging part but I never get headaches so this sucked.  I had this achin' head from 2 pm until the next morning.  By this time I had decided I'd just do a 5 day fast for my 1st one; 10 was a bit ambitious.


PS.  I also drank some juice with beets (SICK!  I don't like beets.  They taste like dirt) and 1 that was straight orange juice...didn't really taste like my Simply Orange Juice.


Sunday Morning:
I got up and drank a Mean Green and watched "Hungry for Change" <---great documentary.  Then I went to Whole Foods to get some Kale and nectarines.  While I was there I picked up some ghoda for after my fast (and some tortilla chips).  I started to think, 3 days is probably plenty for my 1st Juice Fast.

By the time I got in the car I had decided that 1 1/2 days was a great amount of time.

So there you have it.  I freakin' failed my 1st Juice Fast.

Things I Learned:
1.  I DO like eating my food.
2.  I DO NOT like drinking my food.
3.  I don't like beets.  They are pretty but not delicious.
4.  Mixing vegetables and fruit is nothing to be scared of...I'll add spinach to my morning smoothies.
5.  I'm gonna take a break from the caffeine for a while.  It scared me that I was so addicted to coffee that not having it gave me such a headache.
6.  I'm determined to incorporate more raw food into my diet
6.  I have to figure out a plan that works best for me.  For the past year I have been: Whole 30ing, off the wagon, Paleo, off, Whole 30, off...it seems to be an endless cycle that is becoming yo-yo dieting.

I don't think it was bad for me to do the Whole 30s.  They taught be SO much about myself, my body, my allergies and how we can use food as medicine.  However, I think it's time for me to find a lifestyle that works.

I have a lot of "tough love" friend, who I love, who are gonna say, "What's your problem?  Just do it!  It's not that hard."  To that, I would say, "I agree."  That's exactly what I want to say to people who: don't work hard at their jobs, can't manage their classrooms, who don't have friends (Katie, you don't have friends.  That's why you're writing a blog on Memorial Day.) who have social anxiety, can't carry on a conversations without completely dominating it (Katie, you do that sometimes).

But, ya know, I guess we all have our vices.  80/20, right?  80% of us is good and the other 20% is pretty sucky.



Apparently this is part of my 20% (a small part because I have a lot of other !@#$ in my 20%), my ongoing weight battle/body issues, one so many people I know have-well every person I know except 3.  And I say to them, way to go- the 3 of you.  I envy that part of your 80%.  I bet you envy some parts of my 80%...like my amazeballs personality or the way I can match my pajamas so well or, possibly, my super cute work bag and lunch bag.  We all have our 80%.  We all have our 20%.

What's your 20%?  What's your 80%?

PS.  Anyone wanna buy a juicer from me for $100?