You Just Have to Go

That's the motto my friend always uses.

Last week I went to the gym 3 times!
Katie, I hope you're not looking for a !@#$ing medal for going to the gym 3 times in the past 6 months.  

I went to the gym 3 times last week!  Praise me!

So, this week starts in a few, too few, hours and I told my friend, "I'm not gonna go in the morning.  I'll just go after school."
And in her most endearing and kind gangster voice she says, "No you won't.  Pack your shit and make it happen tomorrow morning.  I expect a text at 6:15 after your workout."


So, I packed my bag.  I'm committed.  My food prep is done.  My outfit is ready.
I'm going to the stupid gym in the morning and I committed to the following this week:
- 4 workouts
- Drink my water
- Don't eat brownie mix...that may have happened along with my gym visits last week.  Hashtag: Don't tell my nutritionist.
Katie!!!  What is wrong with you?!?!  Still working hard to be kinda fat, I see.  
Yeah, save it.    JOURNEY to the healthiest version of me.

...But she will spill !@#$ all over it.  <----  That's the end of the story.  Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

LPIMH:  Hmm, what should I wear today?  This white shirt?  Katie, you know you have a tendency to spill.  Eh, I've been great with white clothes lately.  Maybe I'm growing up?
I put on a white shirt.

Fast forward to 2:00 pm

LPIMH:  I'm exhausted.  If I don't have some coffee, I'm not going to make it through my next meeting.
I make some coffee in our office.

3:05: I start walking out to after school duty and notice 3 LARGE and I mean very large coffee stains on my shirt.
LPIMH:  How did those get there?  How did I do that?!  Maybe nobody will notice.

3:20:  My officemate says, "Ummm, can we talk about your shirt?  What did you do Katie?"
LPIMH:  !@#$, she noticed.  Maybe just she will notice...but those spots are pretty big.

3:40: I'm driving to my district meeting.
LPIMH:  This is SO embarrassing.  I don't have a sweater to put on over this.  I don't have another shirt.  What am I going to do.  Hopefully nobody will notice.

3:45: I see some people I used to work with and walk over.  Immediately, one of them says, "Katie...your shirt?"
LPIMH:  Son of a !@#$%
"Yeah, I spilled.  You noticed huh?"
Another old friend says, "Good thing you said something first because I was about to say it."

Meeting goes on.

5:45:  I'm leaving and start chatting with three of the big wigs in the district.  We are having a conversation and I can feel them looking at my little big mishap on my top so I just mention it myself.
"Yeah, I'm awesome.  I did this and then I came to this meeting.  Katie Cartier is ever the professional, as usual."


As I left the meeting I realized I have an extra shirt in my car that would have matched perfectly.  Well done Kathryn.  Well done.

If you want me to hang out with you and embarrass you in the process, I'm there!  Hashtag: Haphazard strikes again.

You can read this as if I'm talking to you and I kinda am talking to my fellow Grinders but mostly I'm talking to me...
I give you the top 5 reasons to lose weight

And it's not very feminist friendly but then again, I never claimed to be a feminist.  Women should be barefoot and pregnant...and skinny!

5.  Because When Did Other People Get So Much Hotter? 
Going out to dinner with your oldest friends who have had MULTIPLE babies and STILL have bangin' (yeah, I said bangin') bodies kinda sends a message to you...and the message is PUT THE BROWNIE DOWN!



4.  For the Compliments
You look so smart.  You're so good at your job.  That's a nice outfit...ok that one is getting closer.  We don't give a !@#$.  You look hot.  You look skinny!  Ahh, the money compliment.

Yes, please.
3.  People Who Don't Know the Code
There are people online that don't know the code of posting photos and you're either not close enough with them to say, "Why the !@#$ do you hate me?" or have just settled into your fatness enough to realize that's what you look like.  Well, you don't have to!  Put the brownie down, Katie says as she plans the gallon of brownie batter she'll eat for her "cheat meal."





2.  Because You Ruined the Picture
The one that your sister was kind enough to take but would never post (Hashtag: best sister ever for never posting).  You know the one of you burying your niece in the sand and your fat ass turned what could have been a spectacular moment of cuteness into ____________________ (insert squishy fat sound here)?!  Yeah, get skinner for that photo.

Put that photo on your fridge and don't forget what you look like right now...and that right now is a great time to choose asparagus rather than brownie batter.

1.  Fat you is Less Hot Than Skinny You...and You Love Skinny You
Ok, there are a few people who look better fat but, unfortunately, I'm not one of them.  So, be skinny and hot or be fat and ugly.  You choose.


She's beautiful and social and fun and hot!  Be her!

This blog is brought to you by Shallow and Post 2 Glasses of Wine Katie.

Tons, and when I say tons, I mean the twelve people I talk to pretty often, tell me, "I would love to start a blog but..." 

So, I'm here to dole out some advice as if I'm the be all, end of of blogging.  Imagine that Katie.

But...
1.  I don't know what to write about 
I'm not expert on blog writing but I'm not sure that you have to have something to write about every time.  Look at one of America's favorite shows, Friends.  It was about nothing.  Six people sitting around and talking and everyone loved it.

My blog...about nothing.

My most well received blogs are either:
A.  About some very, very small incident
B.  Intense blogs that I put in the Draft box for at least a week before I post

I don't know what to write about either.  I feel like the least likely person ever to blog.  No family.  No wedding I'm planning.  I mean, what the !@#$ do I write about but somehow I have posted almost 250 blogs...and there are another 85 in the Draft box.


2.  I'm not that funny.  I won't be able to make people laugh.
So, don't be funny.

Be you.
Nobody will visit your blog to read anyone but you.

You're smart?
Be smart.

You're sentimental?
Be sentimental.

Be real. Be you.


3.  I'm scared.
Yeah, I hear you on this one.  It's very hard to "put yourself out there" for the whole world to see.  It feels like you're standing naked in front everyone.  Sometimes I forget that people that are not just me have read some of my posts and then they say things to me in real life and I have to remind myself that I mad the choice to write that and post it so, of course, it's fair game to talk about.  However, know that this is a Catch 22 because it's probably my favorite thing ever when people mention my blog to me.
Katie!  You're so narcissistic.
I know it.  You know it.  It's cool.

It's ok, be scared...but write anyway.

4.  I don't have a good title.
Me either.  I had no idea what to call my blog years ago but I just decided on "Journey to the Healthiest Version of Me," and kinda like a child, you can't just change her name when she's five years old.

So, choose something you can live with, something you kinda like and start.

5.  What if nobody reads it?
They might not.
I would love more readers but you know who I write for?

Me.
I write things that I need to write and then want and need to read again.

If you are trying to write "for" other people your blog will suck.  Write for you.  I write because I love to write.  I love when I have so many thoughts in my head that the kids are clicking so fast they sound like they're going to break. I love to cut and paste and make it sound right.  I love to find pictures that work.

So, although I LOVE that people read it, that's not why I write.
Write for you.


6.  I am a ___________________ (insert important job here) and I can't put that much of myself out there.
I'm a pretty big deal too and I'm actually kinda serious when I write that.  I was terrified to start writing because I have hundreds of former students and their parents who could find and then read my blog.  Eh, what are you gonna do?

I will tell you that this is the reason my blog isn't even MORE raw than it is now.  I can't be out there writing about EVERYTHING but I can write a lot and it can still be me.  You can too.


The moral of this story is:
Start your blog...and then share it with me because I want to read it!

Plastic Tumblers
Nothing says Summer like a big plastic tumbler, not hard plastic.  I like it soft (TNWSS <--- Inappropriate joke but props to you if you got it).  I love to fill them with Raspberry Ice Crystal Light (pretend I'm just kidding since I'm super against all those chemicals in drinks) ice water

These Rafts
I would never buy a different raft.  That's a lie.  I have a different raft in my garage.  In fact, I don't actually own a raft like this right now but I saw one at the pool the other day and almost stole it from the owner.  They're so perfect.  You're "in" the pool but not totally and you can still read a book.


My Suitcase
I told my dad's wife, Sue, that I was in love with her Da Kine suitcase because it had a million compartments for organization and she got me one for Christmas!  Every time I get to use it, I get SO excited!  Be jealous.  It's bold, and sassy and says, "Vacation" all over it!


My Clean Garage
Yes, folks, I put the Christmas decorations away!
Congratulations on doing what the rest of the Nation did less than a month after Christmas.
Thank you.  Thank you.


Emergency Sunscreen
I couldn't resist this $2.49 buy.  I put it in my purse for a time where I find myself in the blazing heat without any sunscreen.  I haven't needed it yet but when I do, I'll be prepared.


All Things Coconut
Ahhh!  Summer in a bottle!  I just bought a Bath and Body Works Spray.  B-T-Dub I feel like I'm 15 years old buying body spray but I don't care.  Too hot for real perfume so body spray it is!  PS.  Semi-annual sale on RIGHT now!



Baskets
I wish I could afford more.  I don't even know that I have more stuff to put in them but I am in love with baskets so I can organize my things.  I have them all over my house.

Scout's toy basket.
Scout's treat/medicine/item basket.
Blanket basket.
Downstairs shoes/dog leash basket.
Scout's toy basket for the other room.
Daily use make-up basket.
Perfume basket.
Card basket.

I've said basket too many times.  Now it sounds weird.  Basket. Basket. Basket.
Katie, you're a basket case!  
Bah ha hah!

If you're ever in the market to get me a gift and not sure what to buy, get me a basket lined with fabric!  You don't need to put a thing in it, just the basket will do.

Dads today are different...

Nana and Papa had 8 kids together starting in 1949.  "Your Papa changed 1 diaper in the entire time we were raising all those kids." Nana would remind us of this all the time. No sticky tabs or a garbage can changing back then either. Cloth, safety pins, and lots of washing were the norm.

Papa went to work and Nana ran around like a chicken with her head cut off.  Six rowdy boys and two strong-willed girls.  Her hands and hips were always full, usually a wooden spoon in her hand (for cooking or whipping, could have been both) and always a baby on her hip.

Papa wasn't a bad dad but things were different back then...

A mother's job was to raise kids
A father's job was to make money.
That's just the way dads were back then.

When I was a kid, my dad taught me, my brother and all the neighborhood kids how to ride their bikes. He let me sit on his lap and "drive" the car into the driveway.  He pulled us out of school and took us on surprise trips to Disneyland.  Video camera in hand, he'd cheer for us at all of our events-capturing moments, memories.

He also traveled quit a bit.  He was a businessman and his job was to make the money while my mom's job was to raise us.  He'd always jump in with the strong arm when necessary but mostly, the day-to-day child rearing was mom's job.

I had a great dad.  He was fully involved in our lives, attending conferences and dinnertime conversations but it was different back then...

A mother's job was to raise kids.
A father's job was to make money.
That's just the way dads were back then.

Today, nobody bats an eye when Dad has his little one strapped to his body.  Changing diapers has become a matter of "Who found that baby wet," rather than solely mom's job.  There's no such thing as "Dad duty," because parenting is a now a two person job.

It's normal to see pictures of dads getting their nails painted, playing dolls, and knowing all the words to the latest movies their kids are obsessing over. Nights out have given way to evening walks with kids, baths with bubbles and book reading before bed.

Dads these days are equally raising babies and parenting their children and the best ones wouldn't dream of being embarrassed when they tell you, with complete certainty, "I have the best kids."  It's just different now...

A parent's job is to make money.
A parent's job is to raise kids.
That just the way parents are today.

Yeah, dads today are different.

I have a friend.  Let's call her Julie, because that's her name.


"I really think I need to be a bigger part of your blog, perhaps an entire blog dedicated to me but don't use my real name but think of a good name because if it ever becomes a screenplay, I definitely need a starring role," and while we are out (which is pretty much every day) and she says something funny (which is pretty much every time she opens her mouth) she says, "This needs to go in the blog."

Wow, it sounds like Julie is as high maintenance as you are Kathryn.  
Absolutely...but way more high maintenance.

The big joke always becomes "Katie's Style."

In my personal opinion I'd describe my style as calm and classic.  Perhaps it would be described different to others.

Conversations from today...
I need you to imagine the delivery of all of these lines from Julie as deadpanned as you can and dripping with sarcasm because that's her personality.  We have such similar personalities.  Super blunt.  Very sarcastic and pretty damn quick if I do say so myself.

Driving in the Car
Me-I ordered these shorts (pointing to the ones I'm wearing) from American Eagle and wasn't sure if I was going to like them...
Julie-Why would you think that?  Of course you were gonna like them.  They're cuffed.
Me-(giving her a mean look) but I DO like them and they are really becoming my summer uniform.

If you don't have these, you need them

Old Navy
Me-(Picking up a striped tankini top)  Awe, LOVE but I need to find my size in the bottoms (looking for the same striped bottoms).
Her-(Picks up teal bottoms) How bout these?
Me-Obviously not.  Those don't match
Her-What?  They do.  There's teal in the top and these are teal.
Me-Just stop and put them down.  They don't match.  You're making my heart beat very fast.
Her-(Picks up a rash guard in the exact same pattern)  Do you need this piece too?
Me-Don't get crazy.  That's too matchy matchy and it's not part of the original swimsuit so if I had to get it, it would be in a different color.

Ha!  This is what she picked out!

Driving to the Next Place
Her-Our friend's son is adorable.
Me-(I nod)
Her-His hair is amazing.
Me-(I nod)
Her-I know you're not a fan of the long hair (she says this and her son is going to be 2 next month and his hair is super long)
Me-I mean, I just think all boys should have neatly trimmed hair that's shaved a bit on the side and all girls should have a little bob that curls under.

I did mention that my nephew's hair is a little long right now but he's perfect.

Famous Footwear
Me-(Pick up a pair of peep toe, sling-backs with a "kitten heel (<--- She taught me that term today)  I NEED these!
Julie-I'm not sure why.  You probably have them in 6 other colors at home.
Me-Just navy, beige, and black but it's time to replace my black ones.

I need these in my life

Ross
Me-I want to do my guest room in a nautical theme
Julie-That's original, as usual.

TJ Maxx
Her-(Picks up a pair of extremely tall black wedges) These are adorable.
Me-(Just staring at her and moving away from the shoes)
Her-You should try them on.
Me-Not in a million years.
Her-You need to live a little
Me-Fine but I will never wear those shoes.  They are way too tall.  They are meant for children.  100% you won't get me in those (and I'm saying this I pick up some sensible beige shoes).  I actually have a pair of peep-toe, sling-backs that are really tall and I have only worn them once.
Her-Because you're boring. You see what's happening here.  This describes us perfectly (looking at the shoes each of us are holding).

We had to text a picture to Danielle and this was her response.

Standard

Ok, so I'm a little predictable and I love that she never sugar-coats a thing for me and I never do for her.  She thinks my style is so predictable and boring and I think she needs to take her leopard print and burn it.


I need...
Well structured clothing.
Things to look very neat.
Everything matching
Themes for everything (birthday presents, parties, any type of entertainment)
Printed place cards at all parties for items, even if we already know what they are like sour cream or guacamole.
Pictures to be the correct size on the wall, the correct distance apart and using the correct clustering technique. Hashtag: REAL big pet peeve
I don't like walls with any people I don't know (ie. Cartoon characters, singers, actors, animals)
High levels or organization

Sidenote: Conversations with Tom today, "What should I bring when I come to Colorado?  He says, "I don't know but I'm sure you've already packed baggies full of items that we have readily available in the kitchen."  "Well, I did.  Philip's science kit has everything he will need for 20 science experiments and a box that is the "Parent Pack" so you can put it somewhere for all the things he will need to get from you for safety reasons."  Tom didn't respond to this.  I think he was thinking about what an Organizational Wizard I am.


If you need me I'll be at The Gap or Pottery Barn.