I cleaned out my ENTIRE closet this weekend.  I was brutal with myself.  If it doesn't fit, it went in the give-away bag.  Sadly, TWO FULL BAGS of clothes found a new home.  The entire time I was having flashbacks to, years ago, when I had to give away all my Size 5s to Danielle.  I guess it was just time to purge my size 5.  I mean 7.  I mean 9.  I mean...a few clothes.  Let's just leave it at that.

I even cleaned out the whole top of my closet, all my memories.  I "put them in my heart."


Although I did save a few notes from The Mac Daddy 7.  <--- Bah ha ha ha!  DYTYF?!  <--- If you did not get that reference I'll tell you a blog for another day but once upon a time I formed a little gang, if you will, a gang with the rest of my girlfriends who grew up in Orange County.

Moving on, I cleaned out my closet.



I cleaned out all my nightstand drawers.  Look at how neatly organized my potential burglar area is-knives, police issued mace, a flashlight and 2 rosaries.  Stab and pray or is it pray and stab? S!@#, we all know me.  It will be, Katie sprayed herself in the eye with mace while people robbed her house.

(Sorry I'm so off task today)

I even cleaned out my drawers.

Please excuse my dresser and it's ok if you think it looks like Beauty and the Beast because every time my friends see it, they sing the song because I need new friends it does. Here's a closer look so you can see.  It doesn't come to life at night, if you were wondering.



Anyway, we were Facetiming and she told me she had to get off the phone.  "Nooooo, I have to finished cleaning my room and I''ll be bored."

Turn the camera around to show her what I had to clean and she says, "What the !@#$ Katie!  Are you twelve?"


Apparently grown adults don't have messes like that in their bedrooms?

I didn't show her that the bottom of my closet still needs a tiny bit of work too.

Hello and thank you for tuning in to this edition of "What the !@#$ Katie?!"

It's morning.  9:30 am to be exact.  I made these delicious popsicles the day before.  I know.  They look amazing and they tasted even better and they were super natural.  You can get the recipe here.   So, naturally, I decided to have one at 9:30 am because...because why not?


Scout needs to go out.  So, I grab the following items:
- My popsicle
- I'm talking on my phone
- Scout and her leash

Notice I didn't say that I grabbed a bra.  I was sans bra.  In a tight, you can get away with no bra for a quick dog walk, camisole, you ask?  No, in a big, baggy, I have no business being outside without a bra, but I'm just going for a quick walk tee.

I walk about 50 feet outside of my door to the little grass area and I'm chattin up a storm to my friend on the phone.  I'm not exactly sure what happened but the next thing I knew I was on the ground, rolled my ankle, bleeding from the other knee, Scout had run away, and a very ugly sound came out of my mouth.  Oh, and also, there was a really good looking guy who saw the whole thing.  Oh course there was Katie.  Only you.  Only me.

Notice the popsicle on my foot

He was so sweet.  He yells, from across the way, "Are you ok?"  Me, trying to play it off like I wasn't sprawled out on the ground, yelling in agony, with my baggy shirt open for all of the complex to see says, "Oh, yeah, I'm fine.  Thanks."

He looks as me sideways as if to say, "Um, you're not fine but if you don't want my help, ok."

I try to get up quickly and I physically couldn't move because my ankle hurt so bad.  He keeps looking at me.  LMIMH:  Look away, Hot Man.  Look away!  Nobody should have to witness this chaos.

I finally get up.  Scout is still running around.  Hot Man tries to help me get her but my damn dog is a b!@#$ (literally) and is just barking at Hot Man.  I'm yelling for her, "Scout!  Scout, come here."  She's barking at Hot Man.  "Scout, come here."  Finally I just give up.  I'm full of grass.  I have a sprained ankle.  I still am not wearing the appropriate undergarments for being in public.  I have been defeated.  I hobble home.  Scout follows.


Hot Man is still telling the story of the Obscene Woman who fell flat on her face.

Yep, that was Monday.

Tune in again, probably in a few days, for the next episode of "What the !@#$ Katie."