I started something a couple of years ago.  Every December 26th, I write a letter to my future self about the year I just had.  It sets me up for the year and helps me determine what I'm trying to get out of it.  I love doing it and I love re-reading it.  They only change I'll make this year it to actually print it and put it in a prominent place so that I can see it more often.  

Here's the letter I was to open this year and my reflections, in blue.  

What an intentional year you had Katie Cartier!  Your word for the year was LOVE and love you did. First, you fell in love with you and then you fell in love with a really great guy.

It really was an intentional year.  I did both of those things but I did them in the opposite order.  I did fall in love with a really great guy and I did fall in love with myself (more on both below)

You made 2016 a great year, full of new adventures and wonderful memories and 2017 was no different.

In 2016 you learned about making yourself a priority and in 2017 you really lived that.

For you, being healthy means healthy eating, exercise, doing good for others, and companionship.
You took your, what has now become, your annual letter and did more with it...

You printed it.

You created a Vision Board.

You put it on there.

You read it every Quarter and made adjustments to ensure you were on track!

 My wonderful friend Kelli got me a Vision Board and I did create the cards for it but didn't ever print them.  #growupkatie  However, I did have a year full of new adventures.  I was invited on a last minute trip to make memories with my cousin and family who I hold in the highest regard...and make memories we did.  I saw incredible places for the first time- Grenada, a part of the Caribbean I had never seen that was just an incredible as the other crystal blue water to which I had become accustomed.   

 Well here's what you did to be in love with you this year...

Healthy Eating
On the first day of the year, you were four days in to your first Whole 30 of the year.  You were already feeling less bloated, your skin was more clear and you felt nourished with clean food.

Over the course of the year you would complete 3 more Whole 30s and really keep your diet clean in between that.

You read lots of Melissa Hartwig's books to learn about how to sustain this lifestyle after the Whole 30s were over.

You should be so proud of yourself!  This year, you hit the lowest weight you would hit in over TEN years and it was all because you kept the foods away that didn't agree with your body!

I did do a Whole 30 last year.  It jump-started my healthy year.  I will always be a fan of all that they stand for and how they have changed my life over the years.  I didn't do four of them;  I actually only did one full Whole 30 and a few days of another one.  Ha!  #whole30quitter I read LOTS of Melissa Hartwig Instagram stories-totally her groupie for life.  

For the very first time, I ended my year healthier than I have been in ten years.  You guys!  Oh my gosh!  I am still 4 pounds from the number I put on here (and erased) but I'm back at my lowest Crossfit weight and headed into 2018 for even bigger goals!  Go Katie and go all the people and programs who got me there because Lord knows it takes a village!  

Exercise
You hiked 100 miles!  Fresh air, nature, and good music are good for your soul.  You rocked that hiking playlist and moved, moved, moved.

You wore your Fitbit for an entire month. You tracked all of your steps that month and were amazed at how you managed to get in over 10,000 for 20/30 days.

You rode your bike 500 miles!  Well done!

You swam 15 miles.

You did 90 days of Yoga with Adriene!

I really didn't do a lot of hiking this year at all.  Some, but definitely not 100 miles.  There have been years that this was huge in my life but not last year.   I wore my FitBit for 3 days at a time.  Ha!  Fail.  I probably went 100 miles on my bike last year.  Eeek, I need to pump up those tires and get on there.  I did swim way more than 15 miles.  I jammed out to my swim iPod and got those laps done!  I ended my year with a LOT of exercise.  I can run further and lift heavier than I could at the beginning of the year. 

Companionship
You began the year by going on 15 dates and yay for you, one of those ended up being the man you wanted to continue dating.  He's so good to you and you have had a wonderful year getting to know one another.

That is all true.  I went on a lot of dates in the beginning of the year and then I met this guy in early January and, very quickly, fell in love with him.  

It was easy from the start and he was absolutely a man I wanted to continue dating.  When I look back on 2017, he was the biggest part of my year.  We laughed hard and bantered and when we were good, our souls knew how to dance.  

And there's so much more to that story.  So much that wasn't pretty or storybook worthy.  

I ended 2017 with him out of my life and I am finally ready to close that chapter.  Really ready, not kinda ready to almost shut the book but peek back in when I get lonely.  I'm not bitter or angry with him or with me, because this is life.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.  

I have never understood the "poor me" mentality.  Things don't always go the way you want them to but life isn't about things working.  It's about all those little moments that make up our days and years.  Some, moments that we think back on and smile and some that are hard to remember but they are always ours.  For me, most of my moments of full of sunshine...and of course, we mix in a few cloudy days. 

I love that, from this man, my heart learned to be compassionate and open.  I learned that being more open-minded about people, and all that we come with, allows us to judge less and love more.  That was a huge lesson for me and one I have needed to learn for a long time.  And a piece of me will always wonder what could have been if everything had been different.  But the bigger piece of me is so ready to see what's next for me.  
Truth be told, I ended last year sad.  I was in tears as I wrote this letter to myself-depressed and sad and an ugly version of me.  Today I write, grinning ear to ear...

I got to spend time with every one of my people.  Quality time where we were really present in conversations and connections. 

Every time my family moved further, my biggest worry was, "What about our relationship?"  This year I discovered that the answer is, "We will always be us."  Always.  I got to spend time with just Philip and Lily.  Nobody else was invited.   Best moments of my life.   They are bigger but their hearts are the same-strong, kind and so full of love for the people around them.  

My tribe and I continue to have collective and independent relationships, relationships I often don't feel worthy of.   I am constantly amazed at the amount of people I have in my corner.  My cheerleaders, my sounding boards, the people who are willing to put themselves in the line of fire to say what needs to be said.  I will always be the most grateful for the relationships that keep me moving.  Here's to all those little moments, with you, that were so very big.  

And me personally...I don't hate the camera and I love who I am.  I am in love, for the first time in a very long time, with me.  That makes me feel like I won my year.  I'm winning my life.  Cheers to 2018.  May it be just as life-changing.  



Who did your soul dance with this in 2017?  Did you win your year?  Cheers to you, my people and our upcoming year.   Right here-Right now.